ePiToMe oF eGoTiSM ReCoRD...

~ iCHiRiN No HaNa... ~

2011-02-17T10:22:00.003+08:00

when the whole world becomes your enemy...
I'll protect you...
so don't give up, lone flower...

note to self:
seems so hard to find anyone who would do that if you keep making everyone your enemy...

me to note to self:
welcome to my life!! :D

i HaTe MYSeLF

2011-02-08T19:46:00.006+08:00

I have put up a lot of effort... I have make a step nobody has taken yet... I never intended to be hardheaded, I just need people to do one thing, convince me logically... Tell me what need to be done and I has not done yet...

I am pathetic because now, I have to disappear to hide my emotion... I'm scared of my poker face would fail me this time :) I can't hide my regret, I can't hide my disappointment..

So, someone who i see incapable to do what needs to be done is seen as capable because that person is said to be wiser because that person is easier to persuade? easier to be moved.. while lacking other qualities that i see is needed...

I'm still sad , i'm still disappointed... not because everyone supported her... but because there's only one person (not sure if there's more...) that see what i've gone through.. the person i would least expect because of an ugly history between us... while the other two person that i hoped would stand for me do not :) i tried so hard.. i am that nervous.. i hate the fact that after all.. i'm alone, well.. not alone at all :) i've got at least someone who's in the same boat.. maybe he felt the same way as i do because he is in that exact position as i do..

how would you feel if you've prepared a lot, u've worked so hard... and you are pitted against someone who said he didn't prepare anything and proved he didn't prepare anything... and the judge said, he chose the one against you just because he thought he could work better with him than you...
now, put another situation, you've prepared a lot, u've worked so hard.. and you are pitted against someone who said that he is just anyhow go in just to make things merrier, he proved that he prepared nothing... he didn't even have any intention of winning... the judge knew how hard you've worked for it... the jury, on the other hand, i guess a few knew what i've been through but choose to stay quiet.. while a few other juries were saying more or less you are not good enough because u are firmer in what you hold in mind... and when the judge was asked for his decision :) he chose the other person instead of you...

now.. how am i suppose to feel... i know the judge... i know a few of the jury.. who stayed quiet.. n who are not exactly on my side.. what made me sad is the fact that the judge and the few jury who stayed quiet... i hate myself who can't think of other thing once i'm alone.. i kept thinking about this... i kept thinking and asking... give me a reason i can reason with...

why would that person got the chance to cover the weakness.. we'll support him from behind where he's lacking, we'll remind him if he is being undisciplined and late to do the work... we'll remind him if he's being easy on someone... we'll back him up academically too...

why wouldn't i got the chance to cover my weakness that they see.. i don't hear them saying we'll remind him if he's being hard headed.. we'll try to reason more with him... we'll cover you up... i hate the fact that all my effort doesn't count... i hate the fact that everything that i gather before debating, before reasoning, fighting their logic is counted as me being hard headed...

i'm pathetic.. i'm so pathetic now for keep thinking about this..

i'm just simply sad.. for the fact that you do not stand with me after all :) i believe you could always make a wise and objective judgment.. but you said you would be subjective because it's me.. now i wonder, is it you who think you would be subjective.. or is it you think everyone would think you are subjective? you said yourself you said that u might not be compatible with that person, but why don't you say it..

JuST Me :)

2011-02-06T08:46:00.002+08:00

just another rant from the weird me on the gravestone of my past life :)

i wonder why i keep visiting this gravestone :p

i'm not sure what happens.. i didn't really want it from the start.. i think of it as a burden from the start :) but when it's lifted from me, i'm now trying to find a logical reason of it being lifted away from me.. i look for it.. i can't find it..

i knew what went wrong.. i'm just too serious, unfun, and maybe a little bit hard headed.. i don't really take advice unless anyone could justify me logically, i expected someone to live up to whatever he or she's saying.. every word should be in harmony with every action.. and i expected them to live up to their position and title too.. i expect people to do what needs to be done.. and a lot more..

i was faced with the choice of letting something go ashtray (at least now it's not proven yet and it's still in the state of my mind) or me taking a burden, a responsibility... i chose the later.. and end up, after a talk n consideration of everyone, the chose to let it go ashtray..

i still can't find any logical reasons.. i can't find any logical explanation.. for an important leadership post, why is fun valued a lot more than someone strict? why is a shock therapy valued more than a long way of preparation? sadly but maybe true, does a hate towards someone prevent you to do what needs to be done if u want a reformation? something that makes it even sadder is that, why isn't there anyone who pointed these out? heard there's one or maybe more.. not sure.. but it seems that, i'm not really worth to be defended.. i'm not really valued as capable.. i'm not really wanted after all :)

i'm just so different.. i'm just so out of the league :)

i'm just me :)

NeW YeaR ReSoLuTioN... :)

2011-01-01T04:42:00.002+08:00

I want to understand u better :)
I really wish i understand u much better..

:) NoT eXaCTLY aS i THouGHT iT WouLD..

2010-07-04T20:31:00.001+08:00

i'm wrong.. apparently it happened :) not exactly the way i thought it would.. but it certainly happened :)

i KNeW iT..

2010-07-04T09:37:00.001+08:00

i just simply knew it :D i knew it would happen hahaha..

i'm scared... i don't even feel any disappointment :)

THeRe'S a LoVeLY CaT ouTSiDe MY DooR :D

2010-07-04T01:04:00.003+08:00

There's one lovely cat sitting n laying down in front of my door everytime i return to bandung :D what a nice company the cat is :D her fur n skin is very warm you know.. :D (the female cat, i just don't feel like calling it "it" haha..) ... giving me a certain good feeling n sense of well being somehow :D i.. love... cats!!!!

btw it seems that whatever i planned today doesn't go as planned except the breakfast that i planned to have the previous day :D..
*well starting with the plan to meet the lecturers in the university... fail! because none of them are in the university or at least at the place where i usually met them..
*followed by the plan to watch movie alone, fail!! because suddenly some peeps ask me to watch together.. n due to certain uncertainties and weirdness, i choose not to watch with them because that would interfere with my next plan timing...
*cleaning up the organization room.. fail!!! for certain reason the person in charge are not available today :P n change the date to tomorrow? or even next week ? i don't know.. :D
*next one.. sending someone off to someone's house.. fail!!! because suddenly the person wants to meet her batch mates somewhere else first before going to the house.. so i don't have to send her to the house :P
*next.. watching some show in the uni... fail!! again.. unavailability of the person who are accompanying me.. certainly throws the mood to watch the show :)
*planned to do something after the show with the person accompanying me... fail!! fail for sure.. because the person was unavailable and i am not going to the show..
*next.. meeting someone near midnight... fail!!! hmm.. this one i know that we aren't supposed to visit someone's house near midnight.. but the person herself give a timing :) but then again... fail.. but this one.. i just simply know it won't happen :) though i was certainly hoping that, this last one would work or at least not cancelled.. :)

not exactly the best day of the week :) well.. actually unexpectedly bad day for the good mood i have the whole day.. but at least i can still have a little smile over here :) with the cats on my lap haha :) she's certainly lovely.. i love her wagging tail haha.. so cute.. :D

now.. well.. i've poured stuff in my head into this haha.. i somehow felt my head a little bit lighter.. haha.. hopefully i can have a good rest tonight :)

iT iS THe aTTaCHMeNT :)

2010-07-03T03:01:00.005+08:00

surely.. it's been so long since the last time i wrote anything here :) n i doubt now that anyone from my circle would read any of these already :) well.. since most people only know that this is the graveyard of my previous life cycle... and i sort of bet, that the last person in my current circle of life (which would i guess be the first to explore the blog) wouldn't be visiting this already somehow :) so i guess.. i can pour whatever i have in my mind here.. a little bit freely :)

(and yes.. i still remember how i usually start the title... vowels are non-capitals.. n non-vowels are capitals :D easy :D)

i have been long journeying in a lot of male-female relationship (yes.. heterosexual kind of relationship.. i never tried any other option).. there was once, i'm the one who chase the girl down everywhere she goes :)... while there was once, i got chased by the girl... n there was once.. when i suddenly met a girl fell for her.. and tada.. in one week we got together :P and there was once.. i struggling up and down.. sacrificing my whole two years ? or so.. and definitely, i sacrifice my study, just trying to make someone not sad :) or happy.. keeping her company n stuff :) n well... she's got a boyfriend back then when i do all the chasing.. although i'm pretty sure i treat her a lot better.. n sacrifice my time a lot more for her... she doesn't fall for me... instead.. she just broke up with her boyfriend somehow... n there i was.. just considered as a good friend and it stopped there... :) and there is once.. knowing each other for quite a long time.. a few years.. (that u still can count with your fingers on your left hands..) but realising her existence only in the last few months :)

one similar thing about all these relationship is that.. relationship, create an attachment.. create a need for each other.. create the kind of feeling wanting to stay close...

this attachment can be pretty sweet or irritating.. depending how u see it.. and how one party react towards the other party's attachment.. :) certainly.. i wasn't much of a guy who's easily get this feeling of attachment... why? because, i had the kind of attachment once.. and i fell down from certain height.. well.. i recovered.. not completely though n it's just the kind of experience i would not repeat :)

this attachment is usually formed from continuous act of love (or language of love.. or whatever u call it :) ) the act n the language of love.. made someone felt good.. felt floating in the air somehow.. and this create a certain addiction :0 well.. literally an addiction :) the kind that made u want more and more, and would cause a great pain when it is not happening :) this addiction is not good... and when addiction occurs.. it will make the attachment, a negative one... why ? because.. once someone attached themselves to someone... s/he would mean the whole world to that person.. and when it is cut off.. that person would surely felt an unbearable pain.. and may drive someone to committing suicide..

from time to time.. it is my forte to prevent attachment from happening.. or at least happens on my side of the story.. but then.. wham... out of the blue.. in just a few weeks.. i formed an attachment like never before... it scares me a lot.. i never felt this kind of attachment towards someone before.. there were times when i just simply fell, because of not seeing her for a week.. that feels like years.. to the point that i really feel something is missing.. something is not right.. (though after realising the problem, that i missed her, i felt a lot better n a lot more motivated :) )

darn.. how can i fall so fast to the trap i'm avoiding the most... i can only say that.. she's really that special for me despite of all the challenges i would have to face when i go down this road with her... :) there were times when i felt so lonely and empty because she weren't with me.. or she chose to do other things than staying with me :) she certainly knows how to hit the right "green" button (though she has yet to press the best right "green" button, i'll just wait and hope she pressed that :) )... however.. she's also the one who knows well how to hit the worst "red" button :) ( and smart enough not to press anything in between :) ) and there were time when i reach critical point n blasted off :( n i surely regret that, because it seems that it left a deep wound mark on her..

however, a little more than a week ago.. i realise that i am attached to her... n the thing about me is that... when i realise a problem... as long as it is within me... i would somehow resolve it very fast... just with a snap of a finger.. it would have gone... now that i have realised it.. i am scared even more.. i am scared that if i do not have this attachment to her, i'd then tend to stray away from her.. i do not want that to happen.. now i'm clinging n hoping that the attachment doesn't disappear.. so i'd be able to maintain the relationship with her... because no relationship would survive if there's no feeling of being needed or needing between two human beings..

i guess.. this attachment is far more complicated that i had thought it would.. but again.. she's very special to me somehow.. i truly never felt the kind of feeling i have towards someone..

ReaL NiCe MoRNiNG...

2009-05-18T23:27:00.003+08:00

let go... let go... let go... maybe im just the kind that can't let go of my past.. im sort of trying to blend in with peeps around me... my current life.. but then i guess whenever i remembered about the past.. i can't just stop thinking how good it was... how fun it was... and everything... even as i listen to the song "Houki Boshi" (a song from an anime called Bleach... and it was on episode 40th something of Bleach... and the anime reached its 200th episode recently..).. ok back to the topic.. as i listen to the song i could still remember early morning in NUSH Hostel.. me.. eating sandwich that i made myself filled with tuna pasta and microwaved it while serving hazelnut flavoured (actually its just the smell.. the aroma..) coffee... sitting in the pantry while preparing my sketch note.. and started drawing... darn.. i could still smell the fresh morning dew from the grass... and after that i walked out of the pantry and went to the lift.. moved down and went to the canteen.. sit on the electric piano.. (clavinova or something like that) and played a little while.. and move back upstairs watched the sun rising.. it was a real memorable morning.. wished my morning is always that way.. maybe i should start doing more memorable things here so that i can enjoy good things here and now.. and i wonder if anyone in my present life would ever read this post haha... i really hope that i can change these past-tensed sentences into its present-tense form and really mean it...

ReViVaL???

2009-04-19T00:45:00.002+08:00

though this blog has been some sort of grave of my memories and i doubt that anyone would ever read it again... i just found out that i want to write again.. i want people to know me more about me, and maybe my past as well.. because recently i just found my new family here.. (though i've actually had it since 2 years ago but i felt this way about it just recently)
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and through a tickling or a bump or whtever u call it haha.. i actually revived the blog by posting this post.. i hope that peeps would wanna take a look and know me further somehow =D

apart from that today.. might be a real good day though not everything went as planned, and i got fed up along the way but overall it was pretty satisfying.. i can't say much but i truly enjoy the companies, the greetings and everything... even i recieved 2 calls from 2 different special peeps today =D though the second one come up with a not-so-good news tagged behind the long-awaited-words...

anyway i'm pretty exhausted from the activities today... from the graduation parade, the parents "babysitting" and the night cullinary tour w/ pool as the dessert.. =D anyway i just love it!! i actually never knew it would turn out so good today.. thx to God? and everyone who made it really awesome =D

BeiNG MoRe...

2008-08-30T20:15:00.002+08:00

i think it's been real long since the last time i go online and write something in this record of the epitome... actually apart from having problem with internet connection, i also have problem in other area... nevermind it but looking at who i was... i am actually someone who thinks a lot... and then i write it out to see how other's thinking about it... but now although i still think about a lot of weird things, i don't really write it... i just simply have a few peeps to discuss it now hehe... this maybe one of the reason the blog is getting deserted...
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come to look at it again... this blog is surely full of thoughts i have for about two years... but come to the think of it, those were times when i don't really enjoy myself much... i think i was heartbroken, sad, depressed and all those negative things that you can think of surround me... but now, i think i am much more a happy man than i was before.. though those memories i have before is still precious for me and i hardly want to move on because of those, i think i have to make myself clear by just saying, "I DON'T WANT THAT LIFE AGAIN!!" =D and i'm thinking of having a new blog... a more cheerful n happy kind of blog... i think i'll have that after i get a more stable it connection hehe =D see u next time then...

aNoTHeR FiLLeR... KeHKeHKeH...

2008-06-12T09:25:00.002+08:00

wew... nothing much happening except i'm having a 2 months holiday now =D yay!!! so happy... free of all problem for a while... but currently.. my home pc juz had a few probs... it didnt want to boot... so gonna haf someone to do something about it real soon hehehez.... erm.. mebbe datz all i'd write today.. since i really2 dunno wad to type now... =D

Me ToDaY: HaPPY...

2008-05-21T11:42:00.002+08:00

hoho just finished CalCULuSZZ.. end of term exam... kinda easy ImO... so i finished sumwhere ard 40 mins earlier than it should be...hehez... n gonna haf CoNCePTuaL TeCH tomorrow.. sigh.. gonna work real hard hehe...

ReCeNT TeST.. iT CHaNGeD.. i WaS aN ISTP...

2008-05-18T20:48:00.000+08:00

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.

A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.

In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.

You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

In love, you express your emotions through actions.

Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!

At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's Your Personality Type?

WeW...

2008-05-03T16:15:00.003+08:00

wew... having internet connection in the house isn't as easy as i think.. hahaz... apparently the house ownerz daughter just came back from her study in China... so there is more peeps in the house that use internet.. n then... more peeps have to be out since with so many peeps... not many can play online games happily... why? coz it will lag like hell if 11 peeps surfing n playing in the house... so... some have to be out n im one of em haha.. actually the new peeps is kicked out of the internet slot hehez... darn it...

NoTHiNG...

2008-04-10T14:21:00.001+08:00

la la la... got nothing to say,... actually got lotsa things to say but no time to do so just gonna post this lousy n crappy post la la la...

LoVe HuRTS... ReaLLY??? <- (the really here is asking not a confirmation.. =P)

2008-03-15T20:39:00.002+08:00

Few years ago, a friend of mine, told me a phrase consists of two words.. its been his password in his laptop, his emails n so on n so on... The two words were Love Hurts.. why would someone want to carry those around everywhere he go? Maybe those two words carved into his mind from his past experience, maybe he has been hurt.. or maybe its just another phrase he found on the net... i dunno wad.. but seems dat it has a pretty deep meaning for him.. =D
Ok not that anything happened, but i just watched a movie "Sugar & Spice - Fummi Zekka", a jap movie about love.. and about things that happen when someone's heartbroken.. haha.. not to stereotype.. but most girls dat i know might do similar things to the girl in the movie... maybe boys will do the same too.. but i dunno... world is made the way it is.. some things work.. and some don't...
***
Before going further.. I just wonder, what about commitment.. lets make it more concrete by taking example =P... let say u have a boyfren or girlfren.. then u see someone else is much better than ur bf or gf.. seems dat the person responded pretty well to your liking... would u rather stick with ur old one or the one that u saw as "much better in most terms"... most peeps that haven't gone through with this case would say no, stick wit the old one, it is commitment that i've made.. it is not fair to do such thing... or another answer would be to take her or him the way she or he is, is the way, otherwise u'll keep finding a better one and keep changing and that's not what a commitment is...
***
But then again... after u experience such thing, u might ask again, "why would u rather keep taking the old one when u can get a much better one which might last even longer and make u happier?".. Yes or no? when the answer is yes.. Love hurts for one party... but if the answer is no.. love hurts to for another party (the one who is getting rejected and maybe also the one who choose to answer no) ? so either way love hurts is that a fact? i've been in both position.. erm no i've been in those three psositions.. i know it hurts when someone left when the feeling starts growing, i know it hurts when u know u can do better but u r rejected, i know too what i'd do if i was given the choices.. i've answered yes too when the question's asked..
***
What i can conclude is that, none of the positions mentioned above is fun.. none of them feels good... i dunno how i should answer if i am being asked dat question again.. i know answering no is not a good answer.. i have not done it, but i know someone who did.. and seems dat thing doesn't work with a no for that qn.. but a yes would hurt real bad too... darn... a hard question isn't it..?
***
Sacrifice might be a key to answering the qn... which would most likely lead to the answer no for the one being asked qn.. but looking for different angle, if u want the best for the person u loved, wouldn't letting ur love answering yes is the key to make that person more happy? i dunno... this may not be valid too.. and damn.. why should i watch a movie that remind me of this freaking question...??
***
Btw another thing that can answer the question is the phrase i posted last time.. its actually from Jenny, but not sure too where she found the quotes.. "Treasure what you have now, for that was once in ur wishlist..." so obviously with the quote, the answer to the quetion would be a "no, i'll keep the old one.." hahaz...
***
Some of u might have realise after reading so long... the phrase love hurts is true to a certain extent.. it does for those who finds the situation i wrote above.. though love doesn't taste so bad when it is on the air and u r flying along with it hahaz.. it only hurts when it suddenly drop u after u reach certain heights... pretty general huh? after u drop from those heights, either u recover completely or that drop will give a wound and a scar that would still hurt after so long.. but damn it hahaz.. nevermind... i think we can start on another topic that'z more fun next time =P

WeW..

2008-03-02T21:35:00.004+08:00

yoz... long time never write anything here.. not much thing happening around too actually.. or maybe i'm just being too lazy... but then nevermind u've got me here already =P

but really nothing much in mi mind either... so i'll just write soon.. yes soon =P

earLY HaPPY VaLZ PoST...

2008-02-13T20:40:00.002+08:00

yoz just wanna drop an early happy valz to everyone coz recently the internet connection wasn't really 'connected'.. so since today i can get the connection.. i'd like to express mi happiness by writing this =P... anyway love u all peeps!!! =D

Mi NeW PHoNe No =P n' THouGHT oN CHaiN LeTTeR...

2008-02-02T19:50:00.000+08:00

okie.. first of all just wanna make an announcement, my new fone no is +6287833002300 hehez... what i a nice series of number i have there kekekekeke...
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next i'm going to start my hateful comment on chain letter hahaz... recently i got more and more of those creepy chain letter.. not only in my email, but also friendster message inbox n bulletin board... darn it.. in one of those chain letter in the inbox get me questioning... why would the pope's dream be Jesus saying "I am the BEACON in this world, whoever follow my path shall not walk in the darkness but in light." while in the very same letter to spread this good news to the world have a phrase like "If you do not forward this message to at least twenty people, bad things might happen to you. Margareth, a millionare's daughter throw a copy of this letter into the trash bin and ignore it, a week later she was found murdered bla bla bla..."
--
feels more to me like a devil is the one sending this letter to curse everyone in the earth with the name of God.. hahaz.. darn since when did I become so religous n talk this way.. nevermind but then again, wouldn't it be nicer to remove all the curse before you forward the message? i've got another one saying curses like you will die in three days n stuff, i ignore it and here i am writing this entry (i read those like a year ago maybe?).. maybe i should make one bulletin saying, "Stop all kind of chain letter with any kind of curses after you read this message or you will die in three days by getting a shipment of onions that has been sliced dice and you will suffocate by breathing in too much of the onion odour into your lungs!!! You may send a chain letter without any negative curses in it or you could edit it first to remove the curse before forwarding it, doing either one would prevent the menace of the onion odour..." hehez... good isn't it? cool man, only if the curse is this good, i won't mind sending it again, along with the curse hahaz...
--
only if other peeps realise this and at least do edit the letter before forwarding it... btw I do edit the letter before doing any of forwarding if i thought it worth forwarding.. if the one sounds like this one:
"3 year old died having a baby"
Body: Body: On December 24, 2006 at 8
o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year
old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was
found dead. Doctors couldn't come up
with the cause of his death. His mother
checked his emails to see if she could
figure out what happened. Turns out he
was still signed into myspace. She found
he had gone to sleep after he read and
didnt repost a chain letter about a
little girl that kills you in your sleep
with no natrual cause of death.
This is the bulletin he read:
My name is Ofelia Heras. I'm 16 years
old. I'm a murderer. I have no face.
When you look at me you'll die
immediately.You have 900 seconds to
repost this or I will visit you tonight.
Repost this "3 year old died having a baby"
then i dun think it worth forwarding, so not that im forwarding it here in mi blog, i was just trying to give an example of how bad has it become, not even a good message is inside this letter, so what's the point of sending it for the first place? for the superstitious ones... try not to send any of this once.. proof if this is the curse is real, if it is then you can send it to ur fren but remove the curse before please hehez.. coz by leaving the curse there... you have cursed your frenz, it is no more the one who created the letter in the first place, but you =P...

MY TaKe oN CHoiCe...

2008-01-28T15:24:00.001+08:00

Referring to mi fren'z (Nakkie's) entry about Choice... for those who has time u can try see the real post by Nakkie down there by clicking on the word "Choice" upthere =D... otherwise u can just read it here hehez... his question was "Would you rather spend your last day in the universe knowingly or unknowingly?".. Quite a question right? hehez.. but different peeps might have different oppinion, some might think the way Nakkie think, but i'd rather have my last day unknowingly =D
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reason being?? okie.. i like surprises hehez.. wouldn't the day you watched the show "Friends" with Jesus be the best day of your life? ... erm let me rephrase it... Wouldn't it be the best day of your afterlife?? why would I want to know that day? the surprise factor wouldn't be there anymore if you knew it... that'z the 1st reason hehez...
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secondly... knowing the last day of your day on earth.. would make you think lots of things.. who would i want to meet for the last time? where do i want to be on the last moments? what image of earth would i want to keep eternally? who should i marry in the next 3 hours so that i could die married? or in which position would i want my last "pleasure of flesh" be? (okie the copyright of the line and the lustful way of saying it is Mr. Ravindersingh Sidhu of JJC kekeke...) i don't want to have all these question in my head... and to regret it if it is not fulfilled...
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considering these two oppinions... i'd rather have it unknowingly... makes mi life much more simpler and though i might have something i want to do before i left the earth, i'll make sure it happens with all the might i have hhehez.. if i can't then too bad, n i'd take it as i'm not supposed to do that... =D so if i have the chance to do it in the afterlife, i'll do it in the afterlife hehez.. =D

FeW oF Mi PRoGReSSiNG aRT... aND SuM iNTeReSTiNG STuFF i FouND oN THe NeT =D

2008-01-02T18:51:00.000+08:00

DeCeiVeRS aRe THe MoST DaNGeRouS MeMBeRS oF SoCieTY. THeY TRiFLe WiTH THe BeST aFFeCTioNS oF ouR NaTuRe, aND VioLaTe THe MoST SaCReD oBLiGaTioNS..

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The first one is my art =D done it a month ago =D, it is suppose to be "aFFeCTioN", still havn't lost too much touch on the art haf I? i know it is not so good of a drawing, still trying to make it better though... ignore the background coz thatz not what i really put most of the effort into hehe i admit the background need sum changes... trying to haf it colour using fotoshop though... (despite the fact that i'm yet to be proficient enough in using photoshop -.-") anyway lets go to the second one: interesting stuff from the net hahaz, cute and deadly, not talking about Cute girl holding weapon ,as but more towards, its pink and it kills... without further ado... lets welcome the CPR (Cute Pink Riffle): hahaz... nothing better than this.. then i try to imagine how it would look like if used in real battle... thatz where mi photoshop skill come in handy hahaz... here haf a look so u dun haf to imagine anymore hahaz...

SHoP SHoP 2

2008-01-01T14:18:00.000+08:00

hehez... another shop result of a tutorial on the net... quite a nice fireball we have here isn't it?? =D

SHoP SHoP...

2007-12-31T13:49:00.000+08:00

haha this is what i end up with after nakkie give me the shop tutorial link hahaz... not particularly well done since i dun dye my hair or highlight it red.. if i did i can haf a flaming hair like phoenix hahaz... anyway this one looks more like glowing hair hehe...

Weeee... HoHoHo.... (a LouSY TiTLe.. YeS i KNoW...)

2007-12-29T08:49:00.000+08:00

before I start all mi ranting hehez.. i shall apologise to everyone that try to contact me during the x-mas week =D not because of anything but the phone with the sim card (+6285640302740) wasnt with me all along during the week -.-" and for those trying to contact me.. again i apologise =D...
+++
anyway just wanna wish you all merry -belated- x-mas since i can't go online too during the week... and got a quite great x-mas present from parents =D a new speaker set or whatever you call it hehez... quite happy with it and also there is a few minor changes at home and my room in the share house too hehez... i actually take a snap hehe... here it is...
yay new tv set in my room at home =D... and:

anyway now i have to start mugging for the coming test.. on 3rd n 4th of january =D hehez...

THe TeST i TooK ReCeNTLY... LoL NoT MuCH THiNG To Do So i DiD a FeW oF eM... HeHe...

2007-12-15T11:32:00.000+08:00

Which Disney Hero Are You?
	You are part Simba. You're young, naive, and misguided. However, don't fear, because your growth comes exponentially with hard times ahead. Only then will you reach the goals you've set out to accomplish.
	You are part Hercules. You're known to be kind-hearted and strong since birth, but despite your virtuous character you often get mixed up with the wrong people. Be on the lookout for new people in your life and make sure that their intentions are as good as yours. You're impressionable because you're humble, so let your strength shine through once in a while.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

***

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?
	You are Draco Malfoy. You're an arrogant son of a bitch. You won't let anything get in the way of your quest for power.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

***

Which Hogwarts House Would You Be In?
	The Sorting Hat would put you in Hufflepuff. You are reserved, rational, and down-to-earth. You work well with others, are a great team player, and you always take a stand against injustice.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

***

Which Heroes Character Are You?
	You are Hiro. You are everyones favorite Japanese tourist. Your time is well-managed and you make sure things get done. On top of that, the girls always want a second chance with you.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

PRiDe... aND a FeW oTHeR CRaP THaT CRaMPeD MY MiND...

2007-12-14T09:07:00.001+08:00

i dunno i guess maybe i've written it before somewhere... or didn't i? hhahaz... anyway recently i keep seeing peeps that hardly haf pride or confidence in themselves... it sometimes get me irritated when they just simply declare a "lost" before the war even started... where the hell is their pride? where the hell is their spirit?
another thing that matters is that some peeps just cannot accomodate others... another thing that i hate so much hahaz... darn i've been hating lots of thing recently... what have i become then.. an epitome of hatred?? hahaz... then i've got lots of title then... =P
***
erm yesterday someone actually asked me to choose a word, an image (of anything), and a colour... okie, im not sure what are those for but i answered anyway... so the word was "loneliness" the first thing that come to my mind.. not sure why also... the image i chose was a palm... but the the person asked me to choose another one, so i chose heart (dunno why i chose this too, but palm is an image that i like coz it is something with a very deep meaning, i can protect something in my palm, and at the same time i can crush something that is in it too... something around that sentence but not that shallow and i cant really describe it well now, maybe another time?? hehe) and as for the colour i think i choose black..
***
i've also become confused with a few things recently hahaz... thought i'm much more at peace now about that particular problem =D... okie, its about the belief thing hahaz... i've resolved my thoughts i guess... and btw i've got a chem test today hehe wish me luck?? =D

a TeST oWNeD...

2007-11-27T21:31:00.000+08:00

Lalalala... i just took a test made by davin, my junior in RI last time... he seems to be doing fine =D and then i top scored the rest =D hohoho... i feel really good man!! i've gotten 3 wrongs which is his hobby (i thought he love playing, but it appears to be something else... then the next one is about BGR, he never told me about himself having a girlfren before -.-, and the third one is the date he reached spore last time -> the day he cried on the bed when his parents left hehez...) anyway life here is getting more and more boring... i ponned a lesson today... the slack one though... and i'm on the way to cmplete my rock deck yay!! need only a few more card to go and it will be a really awesome deck :D... need 3 more Thoughtseize, a Damnation, 3 Treetop Village , and an Urborg , then a warhammer and a birds of paradise erm.. what else do i need... maybe one or two more of Extirpate and that would be all... My super deck is born hehez... if u're not sure what i'm talkin about then check the underlined words upthere hahaz btw i'm in a good mood =D... and by the way.. u can take the "You know me test about me by clicking the link button next to "Yuhang"'s link... =D

FaST... aND... FuRiouS...

2007-11-15T08:29:00.001+08:00

Wee i'm back but i still have yet to find something to write about... erm... so i just wanna post a foto again hahaz... a discovery that really have my eyes stuck onto the monitor and the adrenalin fills my blood veins

hahaz.. it was like at most 10kb/s before but this morning it's 40kbps... im so happy haha, not that i've never seen the one faster but it is really the fastest i've ever seen in indo.. omg.. now i've downloaded 5volume of bleach to complete the bleach collection... brr... and still downloading... i dunno how it get so fast... beuh... but its good hehe..
btw i just did a 2.4km run on monday and my timing was 14++, how can i get back my 12++ timing... i think 7 months without excercising is reeallly bad hahaz... anyway that's all i have for today... =D

Me iN SHiNiGaMi Suit.. ??

2007-11-08T23:28:00.000+08:00

hey hoooz... hahaz felt simply happy today coz i just topped in the class for Chem Mid Term test LoL... it's not anythng but ya im still happy about it =D weee.... btw i just happen to be a li'l bit narcist today and i photoshopped one of mi fotos n turnin it into this: =D

hehez... but recently i've got really nothing to write about here... duh... nevermind me =D

THe DaY THaT WaS...

2007-11-03T07:16:00.000+08:00

Thursday wasnt really a good day for me... I broke a glass funnel and get to buy a new one to replace it... but the thing is dat i dun seem to know where to get the replacement from... haiz... then yesterday i accidentally scratch someone's car.. luckily she'z a high school girl.. first she shouted at me, then she sort of ask me for money to paint the car back, but when i get my wallet to replace it suddenly she said "Don't need la.." then she get into the car and speed up again... wew.. the thing is dat i never really felt dat i've scratched her car.. haiz again dunno la...

btw this is the funnel that i break the other day... i dont take a snap of the girl or the car since i do not want to create any trouble more than the one im in that time hahaz.. chat with auntie jenny the other day too hahaz.. feel really nostalgic sia...

BaLi... aGaiN...

2007-10-18T12:33:00.000+08:00

Bali.... again... ok its the 2nd time i went there this year... earlier this year it wasnt much of a holiday since its packed with those cross country activity.. but this one pure holiday hahaz... so what did i do there?

``
Lemme see... Parasailing... Feeding turtles... Snorkelling... Watching corals and feeding fishes (i just realised i fed lotsa animals during this trip, including monkey, bats, birds and some kind of lizards) i went to Bali Bird Park too btw.. then i went to some Hindus temple... not praying but just looking at it coz the temple is kind of different from the one that we see somewhere else.. and its really misty up there somehow... and also went to some highland full of limestone.. they say they planned to build some super huge statue with height more than 140m and 60m wide... ok.. now im gonna do a 8000++ words description of what i've done in Bali =D
``

People say a picture tells a thousand words hehez... So that would be 8000 words isnt it hehez... Overall it was fun but somehow I didnt really manage to enjoy it... LoL another of my anomaly =P... parasailing was fun, u gotta see things from the sky hehe bird view, too bad we are not allowed to bring our camera while parasailing -.-" then the rest was just viewing some scenery, other than that.. there isn't really much since we only go for a 3 days trip coz mi parents gotta work again after the few days "hari raya break" hehez... n gonna be back to campus real soon hehez... (Btw i somehow cant upload the rest of the pics so for time being i'll stick to the 8000 words description =p)

Me Me Me.....

2007-09-21T20:50:00.000+08:00

hey hey...long time no see!! btw i've just took one or two fotos of me recently... but things are going fine so far i'm the "most dependworthy and trustable" guy in class... somehow i'm the only one who do homework here... omigod... if i dun do it... i guess none will... n cant copy others work too since none of them did... and i recently are more active n religious activities though most of the time i will start do my own anti-religious teaching and preaching hehez... n i do kendo too btw here it is the master kendo to be.... the Q10 kendo-ka... Iphanx!! hehez... btw that's a real shinai a ka wooden sword.. that will hurt peeps pretty badly when the senpai use it to hit someone... n it looked as if im wearing a skirt when i wore that hakama (the training suit).. btw the black suit looked really beautifully ellegantly coooollll!!! hehehez... haf not take much pics nowadays.. gonna show u more when i take more of my campus fotos =D until then... bubye =D

HePPi...

2007-09-08T15:44:00.000+08:00

la la la started everything already and its been 3 weeks? or is it 4.. not sure haha but anyway things are geting better n it gets more and more fun... seems dat guys here aren't so bad after all.. but few of the lecturers arent up to mi standard =p... hahaz... most of them were just doing some monolog with the board n totally cover up the bored... sumtimes they dun really teach or doing a loud monolog; sumtyms it was just mumbles n mumbles... havent gotten any test yet.. but expecting one soon.. as in this monday hahaz.. n i join kendo club!! meeenggg!! koteeee...!! dooo!!! hahaz... these are the kind of shouting that you suppose to do when you hit your opponents hahaz.. la la la... today im kinda heppi too for not sure what reason hahaz.. nvm me... n i joined a cell group here.. it was quite fun... i really mean it n i really feel dat i've to go there again next week hahaz... mood is peaking today datz all =D

iM BaCK WooHoo...

2007-08-13T15:56:00.000+08:00

This one is a really long blog since i havent done it for a really long time.. been having lotsa trouble wit net prob recently.. hope i can get one up to mi residence asap so i can blog anytym i want like i did last time hahaz... anyway after the "***" is mi entry before the one u see rite below dis one, ok??
***
It's been really long since the last time i wrote.. i mean really write things in mi mind n put it up here hahaz.. juz wanna say dat i just stepped into a new stage of life.. just imagine you are playing some sort of megaman series where you just beat a boss and go into your next stage hahaz.. life is good.. now living in a city dat is very cooling in the evening and very cold when the shorter arrow of the clock reach the area between 2 to 5.. n the water is freaking chilling freezing cold.. lets put it this way.. the tap water for bathing is just like the one labelled cold in the water dispenser.. wth.. never knew it was so cold before and i happily pour one whole bucket of em right to mi body... luckily there is a tap for hot water too.. though that means i have to wait and let it heat up first b4 using it... kinda troublesome but thats the way here hahaz.. so everything goes into the bucket first..That was tha bath.. the room is actually quite nice.. a single bed and a quite large cupboard for me to put mi clothes in.. no more wrinkled shirt since the "helpers" here wash clothes n iron it for me.. i mean for whoever staying in this residence.. they do it good hahaz clean n smooth.. i think they must use some sort of softener.. cost ard S$100 per months.. add 20 if you wan internet connection ahahaz.. they provide rice for us too no extra charge for the rice =p... Gonna start uni next week.. half excited half worried.. the orientation here wasnt like fun like "Saintierra" or wonderful like "Life Begins Here" or breath-taking "Kaleidoscope of Life" heard it was more like seniors will 'have fun' wit the juniors.. shut the dirty thoughts, not the *toot* kind of having fun otherwise it wont be orrientation but orgy-entation hahaz.. (coz sum horny guys responded very weirdly when i say "haf fun"... ok what i meant by haf fun is that they will get the juniors do all sort of funny things that include singing weird songs, scott jumps, push ups, sit ups, shouting at them n so on n so on... had it before in high school in indo last time.. hope this one isnt as bad as the one i had before..Ok.. the residence mate was fun n friendly.. few of them go to the same uni as me.. None from the same faculty... erm.. hopefully life's gonna be fine here hahaz..
***
I think i start missing peeps in mi previous stage of life =p.. the horny couple roomamates ditz & yuhang... never-talking-to-each-other couple roommates nakkie & linh... empty-bedded roommates derry & sophea (since i moved here n there once in a while n sometimes slept in ditz bed or mi juniors bed...), the-half-very-dirty-half-quite-neat couple roommates charlie & linan.. not sure how the girls rooming work.. is it jenny & mia, vattey & angel, muriel n sum prc?, trang n hanh, chen hui n pui khuan??, i remember one for sure esther n janene hahaz.. why? coz one of mi juniors use to look at the room during roll call and ditz roommate use to look at the same room too during roll call hahaz.. happy miss & matching hahaz..Missing the nights me n ditz jump in n out the laundry room, the all-night-long talk wit jenny, trying to talk to linh about the asean shirt momment wit nakkie, yuhang n charlie.. (was charlie there? or was yuhang there? i forgot ahahaz but i know nakkie was there), the night spend finding out yuhang openned a website rated 21 n above =p (yuhang's secret revealed =P).. watching family guys, the simpsons, n southpark before tests wit everyone.. watching ditz playing onimusha in the tv room n get chased out by sum prc peeps.. hey i also remember wei xiang brought me bdae cake in front of the hostel n he get mia to call me down hahaz.. remember the booze we drank when we reach the hostel for the first time =p (too bad the were beer n scotch n both taste bitter n i hate em...)... badminton excercise wit sophea nakkie esther ricky daniel n juniors hahaz.. n bad memories how i lost 3 boxes of mi belonging due to barbaric action done by some group of peeps at the hostel store room.. freakng hate those peeps man..Feeling nostalgic man hahaz.. ok datz all for now.. gonna write again next time =p...

=P FiLLeR??

2007-08-06T09:44:00.000+08:00

hey hey... blog isnt dead but the author is half dead due to flu hahaz.. erm not much thing going on recently so its juz gonna be a filler post so it doesnt look dead hahaz... =p

Me aGaiN???

2007-07-16T14:34:00.000+08:00

la la la.. mood quite good today.. been listening to avril's new album again n again recently hahaz.. like lotsa songs in that new album of hers =) wee.. cant imagine what would happen to a girl when avril sing dat 'girlfriend' song to her boyfren hahaz.. but hey songs in that album mostly are upbeat n cheerful hahaz.. feel kinda happy after listening to few of the songs.. wee.. hahaz.. not much happen to me too now.. spend most of mi days watching national geographic channel... discovery n animal planet hahaz.. lotsa fun tv programmes there =)...
***
n actually now i feel that most of stuffs here are cheap hahaz.. i mean even though i've been here since november but i started exploring places only recently hahaz.. so hey watch movie for only less then S$2?? hahaz.. eat good food for less than S$1??? okay enuf of this stuff hahaz.. though sometimes some other stuff are definitely more expensive here..
***
also recently found out that egoism isnt relly describe me well hahaz.. i know i love miself alot, but that mite not be enuf to describe me hehez.. maybe add a grain of loneliness and a pinch of vengeance lol.. sounds like akroma isn't it? hahaz.. ok enuf of jokes haha now i've got akromas, karonas, stonebrownies running around mi head.. why? coz i just found out that im gonna be near a magic:the gathering player centre where im gonna live the next 4 years? hahaz.. yay.. at least there's something that i could use to relate miself wit peeps here omigod.. especially the foil serra avenger full art promo card that i've got few months back hahaz.. la la la... i somehow feel relly good about this hahaz.. (woo.. btw the last time i bring mi album there few of them was like *o*...) when they look at those foil ravnica dual lands hahaz.. ok relax.. relax a li'l bit.. lotsa strange language for non-magical peeps out there (harry potter call thems muggles hahaz.. not harry but the peeps around him =p ).. talking about harry potter.. i think im gonna watch it soon.. hahaz.. i konw its still a bit late.. but soon soon i'll be back wit the review =p.. spoiler anyone??

SToRY oF MY LiFe...

2007-06-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

Hahaz.. It ain't really the story of mi life from the little me to the present me but i'll just try to outline the whole thing into something simpler otherwise it will take out the whole of mi blog entry screen if i wrote all.. i shall cover 4 years of mi life in spore hahaz.. (the title is inspired from Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell... Fox River convicts when the doctor sew his hand hahaz...

...
4 years ago... um now it should be 5 years ago.. okie, 5 years ago i took up this test set by the Raffles Institution hahaz.. was a sort of IQ test then mathz and physics... plus a short interview hahaz.. after those test, i wasnt relli hoping to go through since mi competitor was like those the tops students in the whole school and few mathz champions plus sum english masters hahaz.. but then few months after that they announce that im in n one other guy named Rudy hahaz.. he was one of the mathz champions hahaz.. it was relli miracle i guess... so i went there n meet a few other 4 from ther city hahaz.. it's relli fun knowing them, first few months of our life there was like woohoo together with Freddy (aka Froggy),Rudy,Ferro,Denny, and Thomas (a.k.a Tomush)... all about english hahaz.. though i'm not the best or do really well in the english course i think i did it quite fine considering the standard in RI was kind of high hahaz.. the first year of mi life there was kinda boring.. for peeps to see hahaz.. normal life, go school, go home, bathe, eat n sleep hahaz.. oops i miss out the study time hahaz..

...

so that's realli all of mi 1st year towards the end i guess i did a project about orchid cross-breeding hahaz... through tissue culture we manage to grow fungus from the orchid-germinating-jelly-supposed-to-be.. hahaz.. coz we wasn't really careful when moving the orchid seeds so out of 6 we onli manage to save 2 of the orchid-jelly-dish.. hahaz... the project didn't really go well since we weren't really prepared for it, Denny n Ferro n Bambang were not quite happy about the result too but then we score just fine hahaz.. Towards the end of the year the next batch of RI school based scholar came.. and before that we, the first batch thinking about what should our group name be hahaz.. then we find out it will be Pioneer VI (VI as in roman character for six since there were six of us and we are sort of the pioneer hahaz the first batch hahaz..) that would be all of mi 1st year there.. not much things going on huh? ok n there's interesting thing hahaz.. there was one of this cute Bio teacher n all of us were like "WTH" coz we have never seen a teacher that pretty in our home country hahaz.. so ya.. it's coz we weren't used to that kinda cute face hahaz... after a while we saw a lot more pretty teacher in Spore hahaz.. (wondering when would Indo haf those kind of eacher with such intelligent n beauty hahaz.. i sounded pervert? no no it wasnt me who said that but other peeps in the batch, i was just writing it out hahaz..)

...
the second year i was introduced to this thing called Magic:The Gathering, a unique game that sometimes u can made money out of it or losing money hahaz.. but its fun to play that... oh n mi junior Davin thought me how to play it hahaz and it become our batch game hahaz.. most of the RI-school based peeps know how to play this except the 1st batch.. onli me Tomush n Froggy know how to play it.. but all the following batch peeps know how to play it hahaz... plus a tutor who 'tutor' us how to play better n introduce us to Bishan card market where most of the Magic player trade their cards hahaz.. after that, not much thing going on, i remember i played Diablo II that time using Bobo's laptop n we also develop LAN gaming habbit together with Ronald who was from mi city too but he went to spore a bit earlier n he's a Sporean who spend the first 12 years of his life in Semarang so he wasnt really look like Sporean or sound like a Sporean hahaz... we played Warcraft III normal game back then there weren't any DoTA around back then hahaz.. and...

...

haha this is the part when i started to relli like a girl in Spore hahaz.. okie we the indons call her cat girl since that time shez the only one we saw hugging n playing with the boarding cat hahaz.. as for me i like cats n apparently we have something in common hahaz.. so towards the end of mi secondary school, Tomush n me determine ourselves to get to know a girl, erm wait i think Tomush did it the year before.. erm i forgot but nevermind ooo wait i remembered it wasn't Tomush but Davin, Tomush did it to 'cewe bule' a year back... ok nevermind Davin get to know the 'cewe barbel' hahaz.. as for me it will be 'cewe kucing' hahaz.. then i started msging her n take a few photograph with her.. hahaz.. i end mi secondary life with not a really pretty score but i manage to go to SAJC hahaz.. and there i meet a few new friends n one of them become a really close fren of mine hahaz.. i forget in this second year i played Bridge n Hearts alot hahaz.. together with all mi batch mate plus Ivan Nova Bona another Ivan in the hostel hahaz.. life was fun back then =)...

...
in the third year there was much more going on hahaz.. dammit i become really nostalgic n stunned for a moment before start typing this out hahaz.. (coz im listening to some melancholic song haha Jewel by Ayumi Hamasaki hahaz..).. knowing a few friends in the new hostel too hahaz.. but apparently i break alot of hostel rule back then to the point that mi Cluster Mentor ask me whether i really bother about the rule or not hahaz... i actually bother n try not to break it but then again hahaz..i just broke it again n again coz it seems that too much trouble n inconvenience going on with those rule around =) no offense intended by saying this though =) where shouldi start.. erm kie should start with me likeing a small girl in Hwachong Hostel haha.. i liked a secondary 2 girl back then n relli tried to get otgether with her hahaz.. did something for he on Valentinez day hahaz.. burned a CD wit a few songs in it hahaz.. then on that day i asked her but in the end she rejected me hahaz.. (aka admission denied -> NUS term for rejected hahaz) but i still chasing her around hahaz.. n that time i got a new fren too Kristy n Demmi hahaz.. i was kinda close to both of them when i was in Hwachong hahaz.. oh ya and Tina too but she wasnt around much hahaz.. and spend alot of time together playing cards there hahazz.. n the nagging aunty who were a hostel guard who nagged at us everytime she saw us.. realli like wth haha..

...
still in mi third year in spore hahaz.. not long after that the 'cewe kucing' (meaning 'cat girl') suddenly msg me out of nowhere asking if i remember her hahaz.. wth n she asked me to haf lunch together haha.. i took mi time replying her n said yes but not long after that mi fren Nova Bona msg me too n asking me to haf lunch wit him haha.. on the same day n same time hahaz.. so i tell him that the girl ask me to haf lunch already n so i tell him if can then we should just haf dinner together hahaz.. but then something quite complicated discussed n in the end i cancel mi appointment with the 'cewe kucing' n planned to haf lunch with him on saturday.. on that very day too the small girl planned to go back to indo n peeps ard me asking me to send her off hahaz.. and on that very saturday, mi fren merwyn ask me to go play LAN game wit him n Davin n few other RI peeps hahaz.. and so im in dilemma.. what a messy day i haf there... lotsa going on on that day so 1st i've to decide whether to send her off or go play LAN game.. but in the end i played LAN game hahaz.. quite fateful wor? coz if i didnt go there i wouldnt have met mi twinnie hahaz.. so i met mi twinnie there n if ichecked i wouldnt have ever meet her again or even know her if i didnt choose to play LAN game n which usually peeps would choose to send the person he or she likes off than playing LAN game rite? oh n i dun even noe im gonna meet her there beforehand hahaz.. quite cool rite? in the afternoon after played that LAN game, i went for a lunch wit Nova Bona hahaz... but to mi surprise the cat girl was there too.. i was shocked... then not long after that Nova Bona told me that he n the girl actually haf a bet, which appointment would i choose, whether wit him or wit the cat girl hahaz.. quite a game wit a prickle of sensitiveness issue they played here hahaz.. oh ya.. n Rudy was invited too hahaz.. me n Rudy was wondering if the two who were having lunch wit us are 'together' already not sure coz they seems to be very close back then hahaz.. but that's a fateful day i guess hahaz.. lotsa going on and if i choose to haf it differently, mi life would've been different now hahaz... from that day onwards i spend quite lotsa time with mi twinnie hahaz..

...
still in my third year hahaz relli alot going on here i guess.. i went from SAJC n transfered into JJC together with Jenny hahaz.. then we become quite close after we moved n choose the same class n hey got another close fren moved to JJC too haha Raditya Prasidha Kristanto hahaz.. then i go for Students' Council election n did some campaign... then i became a member of 25th SC =)... then i've lotsa going on as a council, more frens more events... we went pekanbaru trip plus CCA leader cum West6 camp.. we were landed in Spore n haf the camp immediately hahaz.. we haf it continuously.. i think all were done in total of 8 or 9 day... n we haf teacher's day celebration too before we went to Pekanbaru =).. adjusting to the council life n jc life n facing mi Cluster mentor hahaz.. kind of crime that i did in the hostel is that to bring in non-boarder into the hostel area, to stay out without permission, go into another block n sometimes sleep there n played bridge in the hostel area hahaz seems that they banned any card games in the hostel hahaz..very naughty indeed if i see again now.. and there's this event called Asean Dance.. never went there before but i guess since we were 'school based' n we didnt even know when it was.. we knew that it existed but for Asean Scholars hahaz... n that time i guess i danced with Aline n Thu.. that's all i guess... towards the end of the third year i spend hell lotsa time studying with jenny for the promotional exam hahaz.. that's all mi third year more things going on that wouldnt fit in if i type all.. hahaz..

...
fourth year was a though year i guess.. haf to catch up with studies n went for another tri[ to manado, very nice n lotsa good memories there getting gifts from a few peeps there like shirt n few other stuff =) wanna go there again if i can hahaz.. Radit got his first girlfren just after we take off from Manado hahaz.. i wonder who the girl is n shez not from Manado of course hahaz.. then get to know a girl named Esther who played badminton a lot wit me hahaz.. we took a few pictures that according to peeps was relli out of mi mind hahaz.. the one when she pulled mi tie n i bite a rose hahaz.. n during hostel celebration i forgot for what event hahaz.. then me n Esther danced too back then... okie just look for sum entries a few months back.. or is it a year back? i forgot alr hahaz.. found another Magic player in the new hoste.. eit did i forgot to mention that i moved hostel again? to NUS High School hostel hahaz.. now feel kinda tired already writing dis hahaz.. fourth year havnt got as much events as the third but also very memorable hahaz.. getting a new buddy n quarelled a few times, getting birthday cake hahaz.. 'raping' Ricky on his birthday hahaz we strip him n apply counterpain all over his body then put some Ice Gel then take one bucket of water, we make sure that this bucket of water wet him, literally wet him especially on the part where we put lotsa counterpain n ice gel hahaz..

...

on this year too i sort of in a cold war wit jenny for almost 6 months n she become a christian too during dat period hahaz.. otherwise i dont think she will be a christian.. or wouold she? hahaz.. shez kinda anti-religion before... thanks to Ben now Christ have more faithful follower hahaz.. though im started a few years earlier i wasnt as faithful because of mi rebelious nature n mi past experience maybe i should write another entry titled "SToRY oF MY FaiTH" hahaz.. might be fun to read me tesifying.. not for Him but against hahaz.. dunno la.. but then we made up n become closer than ever hahaz.. spend hell lotsa time wit her during dinner n lunch..n having hard time to get her to eat breakfast hahaz.. after dat having a few trouble.. watch movie first time with her on the 19th i forgot the month already but i remember the date sumhow.. or is it 19th hahaz. nvm.. then saw a huge fire ball from the hostel because of a leak in the industrial building in that Jurong area..then haf a problem wit one of the JJ scholars hahaz.. we all dun relli like his attittude but he'z juz dun bother hahaz.. in the end he didn't get JJ scholarz jersey since one of us cross out his name in the list of t-shirt order.. not a good memories but still its one of it =).. towards the end there's another time of me n Jenny studying together n Derry too =) we played cards in between our study time hahaz.. so that we can relax a li'l bit =).. then we finished our A level.. prom nite was on the 29th Dec so i specially go Spore for it hahaz.. n i smuggle mi twinnie into the prom hahaz.. oh ya.. Asean Dance.. i almost forgot hahaz.. spend quite lotsa time wit twinnie too in there hahaz...

...
that's a glimpse of mi 4 year in S'pore life =) i cut out the school n studying part thou hahaz.. what made me love the memories i got there is that. i feel that peeps there understood me well n it's hell lots more comfy there as compared to here.. i dare to say JJ scholars is the only community that made me feel relli comfy n feel relli good to live together wit them though conflicts are always around like the wrong attittude of sum peeps, the 'crime' that Radit did hahaz but luckily he only gets a warning letter =p.. but then again this morning i woke up n suddenly all the memories came back to me hahaz.. my brain recall it automatically.. i guess i really miss mi life there =)..

SHouT ouT!!!

2007-06-20T13:23:00.000+08:00

erm okie another crappy post of mine...:

I WANNA DISAPPEAR FROM THIS FREAKING PLACE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE... I WANT MI LIFE BACK!!!

=) aNoTHeR CRaPPY PoST...

2007-06-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

been travelling alot recently... my head is spinning ard n feel like vomitting for the last 2 days.. mebbe coz im just too sensitive, a few bumps n shakes will make me vomit when im in the car... n im gonna travel again tonight... oh man... hope i wont vomit today hahaz... but im glad i wont be traveling again after tomorrow night for quite a while hahaz.. la la la... i feel dat mi post sounds crap recently hahaz.. but hey actually i drew sumthing but havnt scanned it yet n gonna scan it soon hahaz...

GRuuu....

2007-05-31T08:15:00.000+08:00

havnt been blogging 4 quite a while... n havnt been able to open mi xanga for quite a while too for dunno wad reason, the iexplorer wants to be debugged everytime i open it n it's always been unsuccesful.. gruu...ok nothing much here except mi body is invaded by flu virus hahaz.. not bird flu of course!!

eXPeRieNCe...

2007-05-17T10:34:00.000+08:00

Juz wanna say dat i've been experiencing stuff dat i've never experienced before in my life.. oh man.. i'm both glad and feel kinda confused having experienced it.. but anyway i do not wish to do it again for a long long time hahaz... but i'd say it feels good to a certain extent... and anyway mi uni status is still processing... DARN IT!!!

Me aFTeR So LoNG...

2007-04-22T12:41:00.000+08:00

Erm this is the foto of one of mi student haha.. ok been having fun here recently.. n after all the work done.. i got to rest for awhile next week haha.. "HOLIDAY"!! haha coz they are having their final year exam.. its kinda like o-level... n they are working hard for it.. even though i heard from some of the students that the techer too been workin quite hard n taught them espionage skill haha.. like when to communicate with ur fren during test and how to do it stealthily.. hmmm what wonderful teacher he is.. ok im being sarcastic here.. hahaz... but nevermind thats their thing.. naybe he just havent heard the story of a cocoon n a pastor.. u havnt heard it too?? ok.. the story goes this way: there's a pastor who loved nature alot... *like me... weee!!!* ok.. then he saw a cocoon.. the butterfly inside that cocoon is trying very hard to break free of the cocoon.. the pastor watch it everyday.. and it seems that the butterfly just dun have enuf strength to free itself from the cocoon.. then he take a pen kniofe n open the cocoon for the butterfly.. however once the butterfly is out of the coccon, it cant fly, its wing is still folded... only then the pastor realised... that coccon is the final test for the butterfly.. when it can break the cocoonm then it means it is strong enuf to fly n live in this world freely.. but then now since he open it up for the butterfly.. it cant fly forever... its sumthing like dat hahaz... so if that teacher is the pastor n the students are the butterflies.. he actually wants to help but he didnt realise dat the help will destroy them... haiz... n the worst part is dat he is a senior teacher.. cant imagine man.. haha... ok i'll update again soon =)

FooD FoR THouGHTS III =)

2007-04-01T20:44:00.000+08:00

About what I wrote the other day... I tried to think through it again... there is I think thin lining dat would differentiate whether one idolises their religion or truly worship their own God... then dun tell me that I repeated mi point over n over again but this is what those peeps out there need to think thru... When you think other people should join your church n not other church, when you think other religion does not teach the right thing, when you refuse to open up your mind and ear when peeps from other community give you their point of view about ‘belief’, when you start to neglect own well being for *fill in with any nouns in the world… (that would include church)* means you are idolising it, when you think that salvation will only come to those who come to your church or convert to your religion…
***
Next one is that I think religion and belief are there to guide you, to help you find the God within you… You do not need to worry that anyone will bring down your belief because he will never succeed; do not worry that anything in the world, made from the hand of human will destroy your faith since your faith will help you through, but when there is a fickle of disbelief in you, doubt in you that something is threatening your belief and your faith… that would only mean one thing, you and you are the only person who are killing and destroying your religion for you have doubted what has been given to you… Shame on anyone who think I tried to make you doubt what you believe, wake up peeps! Remember one thing; what hurt you but do not kill you will make you stronger! Ask your fren to read this if you feel anyone should read this, ask your fren to take a look at my food for thoughts and criticise what I wrote inside if you do not think it’s true and flawed… I will be more than hepi to answer and discuss anything about this matter…

Mi FReN... a PaeDoPHiLe??

2007-03-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

before anything else about paedophile, this is the new fone in mi fone family haha...
another twin foto... hahaz..

Since mi fren just turned paedophile.. and he wished to noe more about what paedophile is, he then asked me to look at Wikipedia and ask me to write about him hahaz.. (dun worry for those who want to know who this guy is, u can go check, it will be sumwhere in this post =p hey radit, if you wan to know who then read the post okay? You’ll noe who the paedophile guy is =p)***

paedophilia comes from the word pais (child) and philia (love/friendship) hahaz.. but according to wiki, paedophiilia as a whole means the state of being SEXUALLY ATTRACTED exclusively to prepubescent kids ok but it is also used colloquially to denote peeps like mi fren and radit too to certain extent hahaz.. who is attracted to children below local age consent, like a turning 20yrs old guy attaracted to p4 kids (OMG!!! Haha dun worry, few peeps certainly haf different taste)Richard von Krafft-Ebing mentioned that the characteristic of these peeps are: the sexual interest is toward children, either prepubescent or at the beginning of puberty, the sexual interest is the primary one, that is, exclusively or mainly toward children, the sexual interest remains over time okay, then he add that there shld be minimum of 5 yrs old difference in the gap s ince otherwise that may include those kids who fell in love with each other hahaz.. (so lets count.. turning 20 this year and p4 kids so shld be ard 10yr-old.. so 10yrs diff… and p4 is prepubescent ,definitely paedophile rite?) Even tho the term often used to describe child sexual offenders, however this may not be a correct word since paedophile is a lifelong attraction, not the burst of horniness that one suddenly haf (it is situational and not lifelong)Btw in wiki they also give the manual to check whether or not you are a paedophile hahaz supposedly medical one not a joke:

-Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally age 13 years or younger).

-The person has acted on these urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty.

-The person is at least age 16 years and at least 5 years older than the child or children in Criterion A. (with exception like those at the end of his adolescence and 13 or 12 yr-old kid)

Haha fun fact =) according to the survey in 1989 on 193 undergrads, the result is: 21% acknowledged sexual attraction to some small children; 9% reported sexual fantasies involving children; 5% admitted masturbating to these fantasies; and 7% conceded some probability of actually having sex with a child if they could avoid detection and punishment.. I wonder up to which point dat fren of mine will go haha..Too bad… Many regard pedophilia as highly resistant to psychological interference and have dismissed as ineffective most "reparative strategies, the chance of recovery is very low too according to wiki -.-..**

So how? Isn’t dat enuf?? What? I havnt mention the guy? Haha I did mention him/her.. hahas if you think I havnt then read again.. then read again upside down, if still cant read again backwards maybe u’ll find a hint phrase there.. or maybe block all the post, I may have use black so it blends wit mi background haha if u still can’t find then you are lousy hahaz… Radit, can find or not??

FooD FoR THouGHTS II (not end yet hahaz but currently i'll stop here haha)

2007-03-26T21:33:00.000+08:00

I’ve got an interesting story about a priest and his disciple… One day, the disciple ask the priest who taught him a lot of God’s words “Teacher, what you just taught wasn’t in the bible!”.. then the teacher answered “Then please add those in your bible..”. Then another day the disciple found out something weird, he asked again “Teacher, what you taught contradicts with the one in the bible!”.. The teacher answered “Then crossed the one in your bible and change it to the one that I just taught..” What’s the moral of the story? Religion and bible should work as your guide in achieving what the Lord wants.. But do not let those guide be your obstacle in achieving that.. in Matthew 5:29-30, Jesus said “If your eyes misguided you, then gouge it outand throw it away… if your right hand misguided you then cut it off and abandon it.. it works not only in that way, it will include too, if your bible misguide you, you should just leave it or ok we should not be so harsh like what the teacher told the disciple, we should cross it out.. We should be dynamic, life’s changed since the bible was written.. We should adapt and assimilate the bible teaching that is still relevant and ignore those which are not relevant anymore =).. Or cross those part which aren’t relevant anymore and write on it the things that is more relevant =)

+++

Okie just wanna add up some stuff that I just remembered.. =) Some people might agree that money is the root of evil.. I wouldn’t agree with that, a priest from City Harvest Church made me realize that =).. The obsession of money is the root of the evil.. Money will help you do lots of thing, with it you can change lots of people’s life, save many lives and also prevent evil thing from happening.. but then the obsession of gathering money, amassing wealth will do only harm.. not only to you but also people around you… =) so being a priest, a pastor, or being anyone, you need not stop working n doing in-depth learning journey just to be saved.. what you need to leave is the obsession of getting money, your attachment to the worldly thing is the one need to be left so that you can follow the teaching of God =).. okie true Siddhartha Gautama also known as the Buddha left his kingdom and wealth to achieve enlightenment, or Jesus who ask his disciple to leave everything as in really every worldly material behind just to follow Him.. but I know I too am not ready to leave everything behind, in fact, Im still very attached to it haha.. It is hard truly hard to leave everything behind, but then again, we should not get discouraged by these obstacle.. we will eventually able to remove all these obstacles but in the mean time, why not we use things that work as an obstacle as a stepping stone in spreading the word of God? Let say, you have money.. You know the money that you own will drive you to earn more, your goal becoming more and more.. you will never be satisfied, why? Coz your goal will always increases.. this is wad I call obsession.. but when we can leave this obsession, why not we live humbly, use the left over money we have to help other, to donate others.. but we should be logical too, we can only give according to what we can afford.. giving out things that you can afford will be equal to sacrificing what your neighbor sheep or goat or whatever.. let say you need $1 to live one day.. you earn $2/day.. lets say you give $2, the whole money that you earned in one day.. you won’t be able to get your meal n stuff, what will you do? If you ask your neighbour for rice or anything, won’t that mean you’ve sacrificed your neighbour’s rice? Unless you choose to fast that day or by God’s grace someone come and give you rice to eat..

FooD FoR THouGHTS I (yes i haf more of these recently)

2007-03-25T21:10:00.000+08:00

After thinking about something and sharing a few things from those who have been "touched" and "felt" the presence of God.. I realise one thing and dare to challenge these few peeps out there who read this blog.. Who are you actually worshipping? are you worshipping your God or worshipping your religion? do you actually spread the word of your God or you just spread your religion? I've been thinking a lot about this, okie at one glance you might say i do worship my God, i do spread the teaching of God.. but then again ask yourself one more time, do you spread the word of the God or your religion?
***
I can only share things dat i really feel thru mi own experience.. so what I’m gonna say next will only affect those who share believe with me, i am a Christian.. (ps: the questions up there isnt only meant for Christian =) ) for those who love referencing to the bible, we should check Marc 9:39-40 "... Jesus said: "Do not stop them! For none of those who have done miracle using My name, can curse Me at the same time. Those who aren't against us, they are on our side." I know things may sound a lil bit different from your version of bible but the things it trying to say should be the same... =).. What Jesus taught us is to love our fellow human being, He taught us to be faithful to our one and almighty God, and to do good before our “turn to report to the One up there” come =)… So do you actually spread this word? And do imprint this value and spread it? Or do you think these can only be taught in your place or your religion? Does going to church without missing one day or hearing an adept theologist every week help you spreading the word of God? Okie.. going to church every week and listening to those pro are good and its because they are trying to wake us up from our dream world.. or do you think those who aren’t in your league haven’t been saved? Or they aren’t good enough to spread the word of the God? Because a few of us always try to increase the number of people going to church, pursue everyone else who aren’t in the church to go there and become a member of their church… Im not trying to attack anyone here =) but try see again and look thru again.. the God is a jealous God, He would not let His followers idolizing anything else other than Himself.. when you are ready to kill, to give your everything to your religion to your church, and do crazy thing to make the church bigger, doesn’t that mean you are idolizing the church? Let it sap thru first, it might not be easy to absorb this.. You do not study for the church, you do not eat when you are doing things for the church and u sacrifice everything for the church, doesn’t dat mean u r idolizing the church? If you are doing it for your God, why getting someone joining the church is so important? B’cause He never try to get people to join his church, He didn’t even try to stop those who aren’t His follower to make miracle or try to get that person to follow Him.. So why does it matter to you whether he is in your church or not?
+++
And another one is about judging in the Matthew 7:1-5 it’s about why you should never judge anyone else and it ends wit the expression about someone who tried to remove a splinter of wood from his brother’s eye while he himself have a huge chunk of wood stuck in his eyes.. to make it easier it’s like a blind guy try to lead another blind guy crossing a road.. we should never judge anyone, or even accuse anyone of idolizing something else, or saying they are not good enough.. a few of us might say “That religion worship statue or this religion worship a dead person..” or you even pity them for doing that.. if you do think this way, then you should pity yourself for being ‘so shortsighted’.. we should not judge anyone else’s faith, cause when you judge them, God will judge your faith too using that kind of measure too.. You might pity us for doing thing that you thought as a wrong thing to do, and your God will pity you too or having such thought… peace =)

YaY!!!

2007-03-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

hmmm... just recieved the most awaited letter ever hahaz.. i take a shot of it =p.. its not from mi secondary school stalker .. erm havnt told anyone about the stalker hahaz.. but dun worry if u dont believe it coz its just as easy as thinking dat my close fren just turned paedophile or whatever u spell it hahaz.. its from mi twinnie yay!! hahaz.. anyway now mi students r having their exam try out.. apparently not all of them passed the test.. but its okie hahaz.. dun feel like typing much but its ok ahahaz.. i'll type more nxt time..

PoNDeRiNG...

2007-03-19T18:38:00.000+08:00

now i start to think about mi choice again hahaz.. thinking thinking n thinking, gonna spend alot of money if i choose designing coz haf to go back n forth spore indon just to do application n stuff.. now i think i'll just keep them as a hobby hahaz.. why not? i think i'll change mi course choice hehe..

Thanx!!

2007-03-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

Believe me whatever may happen

You are still the secret allure in this song

I just don’t care how much you’ll weigh later

You are still the loveliest in my heart

...
I must admit that I do not only like in one girl

I must admit that I’m too wild to be held back

Albeit those are just my egoism

What you’ve done tear them apart

...
And time always goes byAnd

I’m becoming more aware of things

Of what I’m going to face

Of what I’ve been looking for
And I wrote this unassuming song

For you, for being very wise

Comprehending me n’ loving me

For who I really am

...
And time always goes byAnd

I’m becoming more aware of things

Of what I’m going to face

Of what I’ve been looking for
And I wrote this simple lyrics

For you, for being so charming

Comprehending me n’ loving me

For who I really am

NeW SHoeS!!!

2007-03-13T10:53:00.001+08:00

mi new shoes!! nice right?? hahaz!! btw been doing school work recently.. as in for mi students.. quite tiring.. but anyway i translated an indon songs dat has a quite nice lyrics but i'll upload it later hahaz.. btw I just sent mi NTU application.. hmmm...

iM GoiNG HoMe!! La La La...

2007-03-07T10:29:00.000+08:00

la la la going back to indo hahaz... now thinking about which course im gonna take hahaz.. my top choice is computing (communication n media) coz it seems more like mi type of computing hahaz.. its about how u use computer to communicate wit the peeps hahaz.. mi 2nd choice is computing (E-commerce) hmm.. dis one sounds vry promising in e future since the internet is growing fast n more n more peeps can access to it, including those in the "u lu"place will haf dis internet service now n mebbe dis one will be good for me hahaz.. the next one is computer science n computer engine, these two are more about software n hardware stuff.. programing n all sort of in-depth comp related stuff... n im also thinking about joining designing (visual communication) in NTU (whoo.. school of fine arts sounds cool mann!!!) but then for the design it seems dat the requirement is quite high.. they haf faculty test (not sure when), then for the application, we are required to send 1 portfolio about to show in which area we are good at, whether its animation or drawing or photography.. other than they require us to make 3mins short video about what we are good at.. the last one is a 400words essay about why they should take you in hahaz.. hmm.. but anw i'll still try.. cant think of any other stuff that interest me other than this hahaz..

oh ya n tomolo im gonna start teaching again... gruuuuu.....

aFTeR LoNG PoST WiTHouT PiCS...

2007-02-23T19:30:00.000+08:00

the new born cat hahaz... very cute sia.. it bites mi toe every morning wit its toothless jaw hahaz.. feels very funny when it starts biting hehez...

special valentine rose but darn it.. mi scanner isnt working so i use fone camera to take the pics.. anyway it's drawn on valz dae eve hahaz..

oNe FuN WeeK iN BaLi!!!!

2007-02-23T19:22:00.000+08:00

i just spend a week in bali.. staying in a newfound relatives hahaz.. never know 'em b4 but it happens dat they are my relatives hahaz.. how am i related to them?? ok mi grand pa is an adopted child, he doesnt know his father or mother coz both passed away since hez 3 yrs old (he has no memories of his parents and he doesnt even remember his birthday).. then his step brother has a few children and one of them married to a girl.. that girl's sister is the parents of a friend of mine.. and i stayed in his house hahaz..

i stayed a week in his lovely house hahaz.. he has 3 sister and a brother.. one of them born in '88, the other one is in '89, the last one was in '97 hahaz.. shez 10 yrs old but looks like 15yrs old girl.. no one would think that shez only 10yrs old.. i was like wth when he told me that shez 10yrs old.. ok the first day there i didnt do much thing, the next day i was introduced to his uncles.. one of them is a karate master, 5th grade black belt, he's among the top black belt in indonesia.. the other uncle is a super rich uncle, hez an artist, and that uncle invite us to do yoga.. but omg the yoga there was a real killer,unlike JJC's hatha yoga that is sooo relaxing.. dis one require u to bend ur stomach upside down n some serious split.. i mean real box split.. argh.. then i go home with pain all over my body..

the next day we went to a place called waterbom.. its sumkind of 'Escape' but its all about water.. so there's alot of things to play there.. we went there with 2 of his sisters, the older ones.. spend the whole day there.. n burn mi whole body.. hahaz..

the following day, we were sort of force to go cross country.. stupid me, i was trying to act cool and go for the longer distance with that guy (the newfound relative, his name is Aki btw) n another guy which is mi relatives too (but i found dat since i was 3 yrs old so feel more like brother than a fren, his name is Ryan).. Ryan has quite low stamina but he followed us.. and we end up crossing over rivers with really unstable bridge (5times) and go for a wrong path that led us to dead ends (3times).. and alot of steep steps.. we really go up and down the hill.. we spend a total of 2 hrs 20 mins going thru all those.. i dirtied mi shoes and torn a part of mi beloved nike presto.. argh.. oh ya i forgot to mention that u cant stop half way since its like in the middle of the mountain and theres no water to drink.. actually there was water there, those on the rice field but no one would drink dat kind of water except buffaloes... mi leg goes nub once i reach the finish line.. (can u imagine that if mc ritchie's 4.8km can be done in 30 mins, then i travel around 24km)

friday was the best one, since in the morning we actually get to wake up late and eat a dim sum "all u can eat" restaurant.. the food was really nice there but then the price was damn good too except the "all u can eat" menu which includes some prawn dumplings, paos, beef balls, and sumkind of really nice dumplings dat use tofu as the skin.. we get a free flow of fruits too hahaz.. late evening we went to play badminton, only for a while but its fun..
on saturday we went to do another cross country.. dis time the youngest sister is joining but then i chose the shorter distance of that cross country since i know that the long one will surely kill us.. so no more act cool hahaz.. then we finish the cross contry in less than 45mins hahaz... nice one..

sunday was more of a packing up day, n i go to surabaya on that day with Aki n Ryan.. coz they need to go to uni the next day hahaz.. n monday i go home to semarang la la la.. n start teaching again on tuesday hahaz..

it was really fun knowing them.. especially the youngest sister, i feel like i have a younger sister again hahaz.. not that mi real sis isnt good enuf but that 10yr old girl relli noe how to make me feel like a brother hahaz.. wish i can meet them again next time hahaz....

TeaCHeR?? WHo?? TuToR??

2007-02-11T15:18:00.000+08:00

lol today is the first day of me working as a tutor in sum ulu school in my residence.. i taught english n computer stuff there.. but for today its only english.. nothing much.. they seems to have learned lotsa stuff alr.. considering their books are filled with lotsa scribble n notes.. but then i realised dat its not relli much of learning going on since they dnno the use or how to use the thing written in their note book.. gruu.. i end up teaching them how to read "a b c d e f g bla bla bla..." then turn on the video cd with simple english conversation there.. argh.. but luckily they are very attentive.. only 1 or 2 naughty one but i made fun of them in front of the class n they keep quiet n more attentive afterward.. the female student were very quiet, cant even hear their answer when i ask them question.. i think they are just too shy n the female students group together n sit wit the rest of the female students n so do the male studnts.. im too lazy to separate them today n just get them to start lesson.. ok life is not so boring now hahaz,,,

2007-02-09T19:58:00.000+08:00

i just get a new job!! work as a tuition teacher but for no pay.. its more like CIP hahaz.. but i dun get any CIP hour either but nevermind hahaz.. dis one isnt so bad.. but still not confirm yet.. gonna teach computer, matz, n english for sec school kid hahaz... and i still work part time as money counting n money spending machine hahaz.. la la la..

2007-02-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

la la la.. now working for mi father as money counting machine and money spending machine.. la la la.. so bored.. spend mi everyday meditating in mi room.. no life is more boring than this...

2007-01-24T21:10:00.000+08:00

lol long time never add foto hahaz.. these are me n mi sis hahaz.. cant write for too long hahaz.. now mi sis is waiting n nagging alr..

2007-01-13T19:19:00.000+08:00

hahaz nothing much from me... been watching will n grace everyday.. its about two really best friends one is a gay lawyer(will) and one is a designer (grace), its about their everyday life wit their 2 sidekicks.. a super rich designer assistant(karen) and a gay floater(jack n hez unemployed).. they are super funny i like karen's character so much hahaz.. she just super funny hahaz... cant stop laughing when it comes to her insensitiveness.. even tho will n jack are gay but it seems dat will haf something for grace n karen respectively hahaz.. anyway.. i lost mi entries dat i save in mi i-pod.. arghh... ok.. n anyway now still waiting for A-lvl result hahaz..

btw wad u see upthere is actually plants in mi pond behind my house hhahaz... very nice rite? the other two are mi beloved guest room n the bathroom.. i actually haf another pics but sumhow i just forgot to save it in mi i-pod gruuu... erm.. btw both room are messy hahaz.. u noe messy things makes ur place more homely n i guess.. =D anyway gonna update again asap hahaz..

2007-01-07T12:03:00.000+08:00

hahaz.. actually i want to post some fotos of mi house n stuff.. but too bad.. apparently dis computer dat i use in this particular internet cafe dun have usb port datz usable.. damn it!! ok... hmm.. still not much thing here... gonna be stuck in here n bored to death til march.. then can haf fun a while more in spore hahaz... apparently therez a cat in mi house.. (belong to mi grandma..) gonna give birth really soon hahaz.. quite excited now hahaz..

2006-12-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

long tym never write already... huf.. too bored, dunno wad to write also nothing interesting to write... next week gonna meet my sis the 1st time since i step on my home ground hahaz.. she tudied sumwhere else so havnt met her till now.. erm.. ok datz all.. i hate all this boring routine arghh... looking forward to 27 dec when i reach spore again hahaz.. buddy gonna stay in ur place on that day wor!! hahaz..

BoReD...

2006-12-07T12:01:00.000+08:00

veryyyyyyy................................ borrreeddddddd.............. got nothing to do here n it's just soooo booorrriiinggg here............................... gotta go wit the RI scholars gang this saturday for sum presentation... hopefully it wont be boringgg there.....

iN CHaNGi!!!

2006-11-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

la la la im in changi airport now waiting for the gate to open la la la... juz wanna express mi hapiness haha.. n actually today im trying to sneak out of the hostel n just go with radit, but in the end the whole bunch of junior guys came down n bid me farewel hahaz.. im touch! anyway i've lotsa fun knowing you guys i would say dat u have the most fun n noisy batch among all!! (ok i actually only get close to you peeps batch so ya u will haf all 'the most' titles hahaz.. most fun, most noisy, most troublesome, most complicated, most nosy, most caring n so on n so on n' haf the most interbatch boy-girl-relationship prblem hahaz.. haf fun in spore guys n gals, haf fun!!!

STH FuNNY!! HaHaZ....

2006-11-29T13:45:00.000+08:00

FoTo TaKiNG SeSSioN WiTH JuNioRZ...

2006-11-29T10:35:00.000+08:00

actually i took fotos with katrin n christian but too bad.. i use wrong mode n its in video format so it was kinda -.-" but nvm!! hahaz.. anyway it's so fun to noe dis buncha noisy n' cool peeps!!! caption? go see in mi friendster profile at saya_sendiri@hotmail.com hahaz..

and some extra cute stuff by me hahaz! enjoy: spider-cat meooow!!! how can it stuck at the ceiling with its tongue sticking out???

spider-cat meooow!!! how can it stuck at the ceiling with its tongue sticking out??? (no photoshop involved in this one!!) and this one isn't mi junior its just some hostel cat, meoooww..

SCHooL RuMBLe!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-27T15:39:00.000+08:00

nice art we have here!! hahaz and again its not real blood most probably =p.. fruits didnt bleed.. hahaz.. its more than just fruit get stabbed with knife hahaz.. the apple get stabbed too actually datz why u can see blood around the apple too.. =) n the apple have the wound too!! so most prob the apple get stabbed before the green orange then green orange get stabbed back!! woohoo.. bloody affair!!
eh btw, anyone ever watch School Rumble? its one of mi favourite anime!! very nice! especially for those who doesnt like the violent fighting type of anime n' like more of a lovey dovey anime =P.. but dont worry its not the kind of boring lovey dovey romance film, its full of funny stuff, extra hilarious and lots and lotsa things dat makes u stunned.. or shocked.. especially if you watch other animes or play lotsa games.. =p
Ok basically the story goes like this particular delinquent named Harima that likes some stupid slow, insensitive n physically undeveloped girl named Tenma.. however Tenma likes another guy which is even slower, no expression, non-attractive genius n' multitalented guy named Karasuma.. but Karasuma's desire and undying love is only directed towards another object, called Curry Rice... as in those Japanese curry rice.. hahaz.. so the story goes about the three of them trying to attract the other party.. however most of the time, the other party was too insensitive that they dun even notice the obvious.. hahaz.. apart from the main love story, there's lotsa other story that's darn funny, which involve lotsa parodies from other anime or games.. hahaz!! its a must watch n must read!!
of all the episode, i especially like the season 2 episode 25 and season 2 episode 26 hahaz.. these two episode show more of their feelings towards the other party, n wad these peeps do just to make the person they love happy even if it takes the whole heart n' it is not something that everyone can do... even tho in the end the result is still <-.-"> due to the nature of the anime hahaz.. but still its a must watch, or at least just try a few episode hahaz.. its drawn in such a way that makes the anime darn cute!!! =D
btw i watched this series almost everyday recently haha.. yay! and i manage to finish the whole season 2 in 3 days.. woohoo!!! very satisfied =) but i think the story still on going till season 3 or even 4.. but in the end one of the three haf to give in n break the cycle so as to make everyone happy hahaz.. something like Karasuma can choose Tenma over his curry and Harima will choose Yakumo over Tenma (btw Yakumo is the most popular girl in school that apparently haf feeling for Harima and she is Tenma's younger sister.. a girl dat everyone will fall for hahaz.. however she choose not to show it to Harima coz she want her sister n Harima to be happy since she noes dat Harima is a nice guy..) la la la.. btw the theme song is very cheerful hahaz.. very nice!!!! woohoo...!!!

SuM FuN STuFFS... HaHaZ...

2006-11-27T08:24:00.000+08:00

Every year, English teachers from across the U.S. can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country... here are last year's winners.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

2006-11-23T21:49:00.000+08:00

today nothing much happen.. again another boring day.. sleep eat internet eat sleep... pathetic lifestyle, looking forward to 29 nov =D
ok initially im gonna talk about faith n delusion... but then i decided not to.. hahaz coz somehow i just dun feel like talking about it already hahaz... ok for those who are interested can just go to this delusion and faith n see for yourself hahaz.. i am breaking free....................................

DaYS aFTeR a-LeVeL....

2006-11-22T20:40:00.000+08:00

today... not much thing... just change mi departure to 29nov.. a week earlier yay!!! yesterday i watch casino royale... nice movie... but too bad the girl died and bond doesnt need to quit from his job.. which is a good thing.. why? coz if dat so we can expect a new bond movie in the years to come... i dun wanna things dat happen to bond happen to me -.-".. having sum1 dat he love kill herself in front of his very own eyes... datz too -.-" in mi opinion...

SeRRa aVeNGER!!!

2006-11-21T10:03:00.000+08:00

hey!! like the new pics in my blog?? hahaz.. kinda bloody but i think this is kinda cool.. dun worry i believe that's not real blood.. that would be either photoshop effect or just some paint.. now i dunno wad to do other than pack before i go back to mi beloved home country.. btw i just got my serra avenger champs promo foil.. haha i noe it sounded darn long remember the angel art that i put up a few months ago?

cool rite?? so shiny hahaz.. (i'll keep it for ard 10 years n sell it on ebay.. not sure how much it will worth by then hahaz.. but observing how magic people grow it will most probably be around for the next 10 years) magic has been around since 1993 and its been awarded as best origins awards for Best Science andFantasy bla bla bla and Best Graphic Presentation bla bla bla... and GAMES Magazine selected it for its Games Hall of Fame.. magic cards has a strong second hand market value... ever see second hand things that cost u US$$$$$ like this one? hahaz cant imagine rite? i was super shocked the first time i saw it.. but then again, people buying gold and silver and platinum and whatever at a freaking high price too for that small piece of metal.. same goes for this one, this is one of the few things that can be used as a currency if you noe how to use it properly hahaz.. ever heard something like planting money? ya its something like that.. the longer u keep the higher the value will be =p but then again u must know when to let it go and when to keep it hahaz.. btw this one is for those who interested in knowing how much is dat angelic piece of card cost

No MoRe STuDYiNG FoR THe NeXT DuNNo HoW MaNY MoNTHS!!!

2006-11-20T21:19:00.000+08:00

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LaST PaPeR... THe MaRK oF Mi FReeDoM!! =p

2006-11-20T09:12:00.000+08:00

fmatz mi last paper of the day.. and mi last paper of the year, of the school term, of my JC life!! woooohooo... all the best to everyone taking it, especially the person i love the most, i care about the most, ME!!! hahaz!! woo hoo........ (btw ME in this post refers to me myself not some other peeps that's named 'me' hahaz!!)

HaiL MaRY...

2006-11-15T17:54:00.001+08:00

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee

Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

i aM SPiKe!!

2006-11-15T14:13:00.000+08:00

Denial... An ego defence mechanism that operates unconsciously to resolve emotional conflict, and to reduce anxiety by refusing to perceive the more unpleasant aspects of external reality..

Hmmm... We all need to deny some facts some truth to keep ourselves intact, to keep our mind in control and to make sure that we dun get too anxious over certain stuffs.. something like running away from the truth.. its more of a defense mechanism of an immature mind, because it conflicts with the ability to learn from and cope with reality.. so these few people who has it would rather deny the facts than admitting it and learn how to adapt to such condition or some other peeps would say 'refuse to move on'.. i think =) im in denial now hahaz!! nvm...

oh ya... has anyone ever heard of prisoner's dilemma? if not then just click on the word, introducing to you the new dilemma that i read hahaz... btw if you are the prisoner which one would you choose? for me.. i'd betray hahaz!! no matter how u count, its always better to betray in such situation, either you'll get free or you'll get companion in the prison during that one year period hahaz.. its really like me, i'd rather get all or get nothing at all =P.. but dun worry i havnt reached the level of if-i-dun-get-wad-i-want-then-no-one-will-ever-get-it kind of behaviour... if i reach that level then i'd probably have destroyed the whole answer sheet for chemistry paper by sneaking into the a-level vault which is located dunno wher and steal everything or burn everything hahaz!! woohoo... no but dun worry im not dat kinda person.. yet.... however if you ever ask me, its either you get it n i dun get it or i get it n i can forget about it.. i'd choose i will try as hard as i can to get it.. i'll do whatever it takes if i really want it =P.. typical spike.. and i am spike, it match me very well in other aspect of life too, not only in magic hahaz.. (but i noe i somehow changed recently but deep inside my heart im still a spike guy that have super high ego !! any comment?)

+)

2006-11-15T13:40:00.000+08:00

yay.. just change the blog pics to my fave artist vampire.. very cool rite!! weee... just finish paper 3... quite relieving... nvm now must focus on chem alr yay!!!

BLuRR... BLuRR...

2006-11-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

Every time I see you falling

I get down on my knees and pray

I'm waiting for that final moment

You say the words that I can't say

And everytime you look my way

I wish I had the guts to say

There's something in your eyes

Something in your smile

Something in the way you move me

You make me want to sing

Make me want to dance

Make me want to cry

I'm falling in love with you

GLoRY...

2006-11-11T09:07:00.000+08:00

Glory to God in the highest

Sing glory to God

Glory to God in the highest

and peace to His people on earth

Lord God heavenly kind

Almighty God and Father

We worship You

We give You thanks

We praise You for your glory

Jesus Christ only son of the Father

Lord God, Lamb of God

You take away the sins of the world

Have mercy on us

You are seated at the right hand of the Father

Recieve our prayer

For You alone are the holy One

You alone are the Lord

Almighty Jesus Christ

With the holy spirit

In the glory of God the Father

Glory to God in the highest
Sing glory to God
Glory to God in the highest
and peace to His people on earth

uLCeRS...

2006-11-10T08:18:00.000+08:00

Mouth ulcer... all over the place argghhh... accidentally bit my lower lips again duh.. no i have 3 in total and hopethey do not multiply.. according to this quite trustable n dependworthy site, lacking of vitamin C can contribute the forming of ulcers... but too much of vitamin C n citric acid (the one in oranges) cause ulcers too.. its like what the hell ok.. mebbe i just need to be more careful when eating n i will eat slower than my normal pace which considered as slow by many peeps... anyway.. beaten another paper today, mathz!!! let's observe one minute of silence to mourn the tragic (and possibly intentional) demise of the mathz paper... no la actually its not that bad haha but i've got some problem doing one particular mechanic qn which goes like:

a particle of mass m move from point O at direction x, when OP= x, force affecting the move is 2m(k^2)(x)(a^2+x^2)... when time=0, x is equal to a and v=2(k)(a^2)... if k and a are constants, show that the speed when OP=x equal to 2(k)(a^2+x^2)..

with the time limit n pressure.. i cant do this question!!! arghhhh.... nevermind.. life goes on.. and challenges by FMaths (not F***ing Mathz but Further Mathz) the big brother of normal Mathz and most probably even scarier and thougher than the normal wimpy mathz question... -.-"

THe ReaL PaPeRCuT...

2006-11-08T13:43:00.000+08:00

... just got a bad papercut.. as in the paper cut me twice in the same place yesterday night.. one time when i photocopy last year A level chem paper.. and the next one is when i drop it in the pantry when im doing it -.-".. hmmm just my luck i guess.. i think i listen to "Papercut" too much that the paper want to cut me already -.-" i bleed alot.. erm not so much la actually i manage to put band aid as soon as possible that i wont bleed to death (lol i know papercut wont cause u to bleed to death except the one in the happy tree friends=p)... other than that.. nothing much except i dealt with chem paper 3.. hmm.. must start doing matz mechanic now for tomorrow.. matz paper2.. the finale for normal matz!! wee....

FiuHHH... Weeee.......

2006-11-07T19:46:00.001+08:00

fiuhh... jsut finish matz paper one.. gonna start meditation for chem already weee.........

PaPeRCuT!!! -> MaHZ PaPeR ToMoRRoW!!!

2006-11-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

Why does it feel like night today?

Something in here’s not right today

Why am I so uptight today?

Paranoia’s all I got left

~~~

I don’t know what stressed me first

Or how the pressure was fed

But I know just what it feels like

To have a voice in the back of my head

It’s like a face that I hold inside

~~~

A face that awakes when I close my eyes

A face watches every time I lie

A face that laughs every time I fall

So I know that when it’s time to sink or swim

That the face inside is here in me, right underneath my skin

~~~

It’s like I’m paranoid looking over my back

It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head

It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within

It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin

~~~

I know I’ve got a face in me

Points out all my mistakes to me

You’ve got a face on the inside too

Your paranoia’s probably worse

I don’t know what set me off first but I know what I can’t stand

Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is

I can’t add up to what you can

~~~

A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
So I know that when it’s time to sink or swim
That the face inside is here in me, right underneath my skin
~~~
It’s like I’m paranoid looking over my back
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin

LoL!!! TaKeN FRoM Mi TWiNNie BLoG.. =p

2006-11-05T21:48:00.000+08:00

Following the recent incident where a Ruffles JC student, in her blog entry, called non-elites "stupid crackpots", "the sadder class" and "wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches" and told them to "get out of my elite uncaring face", Ruffles JC is launching a new course for its elite students: "Communicating Effectively to Non-Elites." Ruffles JC was responding to a request by MP for Ang Mor Nang GRC, Mr Wee Ee Lit (also is incidentally the blogger's father) who blamed Ruffles JC for not teaching her the right skills for communicating with non-elites. Mr Wee, who holds a PhD in Children Management, said: "I stand by what my daughter has said. Her basic point is correct. But it's not her fault - I am disappointed that Ruffles JC did not teach her the correct communication skills to convey her message in a more tactful manner. If schools don't teach such things, what do they expect parents to do?" In response, Ruffles JC is adding a new module for its elite students on how to communicate effectively to non-elites.

Talkingcock was given a preview of the course textbook – below are excerpts: "In this handbook, the terms "non-elites", "plebians" and "peasants" are used interchangeably to refer to the stinky sweaty masses that you will command and lord over in your elitist lives. Working in the Admin Service and living overseas in metropolitan cities such as New York, London and Silicon Valley, you may not have chance to come into contact with many of them, and if you do, your contact might consist of scrawling "approved" when they beg "submitted, please" or saying "Two tenderloins, medium rare". But truth be told – they are out there, living their dark miserable little lives and pouncing on every single chance to whine and fret and undermine our goals. The purpose of this course is to teach you how to avoid confrontation with them, so that you can go about work and personal lives catering to our elevated interests.

Language: Non-elites typically speak in a pidgin English also known as Singlish. Poor them – they are so deluded that they actually think (if what they do can be considered "think") that Singlish is hip. However, we can speak from our august heights and allow ourselves to pander to the masses by acknowledging that Singlish can be "cute". To relate to them, you might want to use "lor" and phrases like "Fouren Talern Bery Bad". We, the elites, are native speakers of English … we have just never lived in England.

American terms: Non-elites are educated locally and have a poor knowledge of American terms. For example, they would misinterpret the term "no brainer" to mean "brainless". Hence, please refrain from using such American terms. However, as one elite puts it, "If you think no-brainer means brainless, you probably are."

Food: Living their dark uncertain lives and fearing for their rice bowls hewed from coconuts, non-elites get most of their food at places called hawker centres" and "coffee shops". Making reference to these places and their cuisines will endear you to the peasants. However, it is important that you get the hawker dishes correct. For example, mee siam contains no hum. Getting these details wrong will betray your elite status.

Meeting them in unexpected places: From time to time, you might, alas, have occasion to encounter plebians in unexpected places such as Ermenegildo Ferragamo or the Pyramid Club. Recognise that such peasants who are allowed into our inner circles are mere concessions to egalitarianism (O foul word! that is second cousin to communism). To help you recognize these deluded naïve imbeciles, we give them special status, such as MPs and P65s. You will notice that these upstarts are normally Members of Parliament who graduated from 3rd tier pleb schools such as St Anloos JC and Hong Chong JC, not elite schools such as Ruffles, who naturally become Ministers. Such people are our conduit to the masses to make the stinking masses think that we really want to connect (agad) with them. These sad utensils are to be tolerated, fawned on, even hailed, but never accepted as one of us.

Physical Contact: For some unknown reason, plebians cherish physical contact like hugs and handshakes. This is probably because their grim, gritty, flatted living environment has conditioned them to enjoy lower hygiene standards. In the event that you need to shake hands with them (which you probably would have to do on ministerial walkabouts) please DO NOT wash your hands immediately after shaking theirs.

Salaries: It may surprise you how poorly paid some of the non-elites are – salaries can be as low as $600,000 a year! When peasants tell you how much they earn, please attempt to hide your amazement. Do refrain from making remarks such as "Only $600K? That's peanuts!" Remember that these parasites on society detest work, so it is merely the natural order of things that they earn so little. This is natural selection's way of dealing with them, so there is no need for surprise or (an indication that you will fail this course) pity." Regards and take care

SoMe RaNDoM THouGHT.. ReaLLY RaNDoM...

2006-11-04T09:11:00.000+08:00

" i dont like ppl who change their best friends every week and feel they cant have enemys coz they have to b liked by every1"

yay! found some other peeps with similar view!! actually its this particular girl.. ok not that im desperate or anything to the point that i stalk n watch girls video on the net.. sorry im not that kinda person -.-"... but just a friend of mine send this video to me.. btw this girl lives in uk.. she has got the -.-" accent.. n the video was just like her accent, its -.-" (she has got lotsa weird video that only super bored peeps can possibly do... n shes undeniably acting cute all the tym.. err ya i think she is.. anyone object? =P -> for those who think that shez cute.. i never say that shez not cute, ok? =p).. ok back to the topic =) i also dont like peeps who change their best friends ever week and feel they cant have enemy coz they have to be liked by everyone... for me its more like.. having enimies are part of our life, its a challenge its a need if we still want our life to be colourful n fun!! hahaz... ok.. im those type of peeps who loves to show my power, show my authority and show that im superior =p but its just nt right to do all these to friends of yours, right? =p so in conclusion if i want to have this kinda fun, i must go outside and look for those people who started the fight or quarel or whatever it is hahaz... and hmm if they started first this way, i'll make sure that i beat them in whatevr thing i do!! hahaz.. about the best friend part.. hmm.. true also that i dont consider those who change it everyweek to be inside my best friend list.. coz its just so childish to change it that way.. knowing, understanding and accomodating someone, takes alot and alot of time.. really.. unless u r God or God-like being that can have the charm and whatever thng that is necessary to make best friend everyweek, i'd say that peeps dun even have one of the thing called best friends.. =) ok in case u change every week.. that makes it worse... u leave the work that you just started hanging and then u go n find another work to be done..

another point is what i got from my first cell group activity i've ever had.. which is 'know your limit and know your own strength'.. even God (if he existed and if he is what is believed by the people in the cell group and the portion of the people in the world that believes in Him) will not want us to do things that we cant do.. ok they say we have to have faith and commitment... passion and action... in whatever thing that we do for God.. and what you said that is not being actualised is just a *toot*.. so dont do that =).. i used to believe that when u r doing all of your work fully and with all your heart , you ae actually praising n worshipping your God.. ok after seeing n thinking it slightly changes a li'l bit but im not willing to share it but if i am to believe about this again, i'd want to believe it that way..

anyway.. as what stated above, passion will mean sincere love, faith will mean the willingness to believe and accept what is given to you.. in my opinion its good to have passion in whatever thing you do, coz u'll do it wholeheartedly and make sure that it is done to its max and optimum.. you'll make sure that you do it wholeheartedly and do it to its max and optimum when you have that passion... =) so it has to work both way.. when you say, i have the passion but things arent done to its best... then i only have one thing to say... bull*toot*.. faith isnt equal to blind faith.. who would want someone to have blind faith in you, even i wouldnt want it... i want people to have faith in me, not the blind one.. when we just take in whatever thing given to us by the pastor, cell group leader, cleric, monk, priest or pope without really question it or knowing what is really in it, being critical about it.. then i'd say it is blind faith, when someone ask you about this faith and you stuck and can only reply with 'it is what the *fill in any of the leader here* say and teach me.. and because its God, i believe it'.. that would only mean one thing, your faith is not for the God, ur faith is for the leader.. (good for your leader coz that means they are a good leader and are able to gain ur sympathy, congratulate them!! =D)

CoLouR MiXiNG...

2006-11-03T08:23:00.000+08:00

after i am freed from the torturing 'freedom' passage in gp.. i take my time to enjoy my own art =p yay!! now i manage to colour it... i noe i think i put wrong value for the red wing coz therez some trace of bluish thing on it.. but nevermind.. its still look not so bad.. at least in my eyes!! =P.. btw the heart too.. i put wrong digits so it came up as pink instead of red -.-" but im just too lazy to change it yesterday... nevermind hahaz.. i still like it!! yay!!!

GP...

2006-11-01T10:07:00.000+08:00

=) gonna start the great war soon... hmm.. starting from GP tomorrow.. gotta do lotsa reading n reading n mugging n mugging n searching n searching n whatevering n whatevering about english.. hmm mug dictionary huh.. should be fun... i'll start from now hahaz... weeee..... just realised havent touch my sketch book for a long time.. what should i draw next then... ok i'll just find it out along the way hahaz... for now.. lets just mug GP hahaz.. i noe its abit -.-" but nevermind =p

CeLEBRaTioN NiGHT: iPHaNX & eSTHeR..

2006-10-30T08:38:00.000+08:00

ok.. nothing much.. i just wondering too.. i had so many pictures taken with her -.-"

CeLeBRaTioN NiGHT: 2006

2006-10-30T08:30:00.000+08:00

ok.. no caption.. abit lazy to do the caption =p i do next time..

TReaSuRe WHaT You HaVe CoZ iT WaS oNCe iN YouR WiSH LiST..

2006-10-28T08:33:00.000+08:00

someone once told me, 'treasure what u have, coz it was once in your wish list' =) i really like this sentence.. you have to treasure every single thing that you have, friendship, love, time, or even that psp that you are holding now..( if you have one :P) coz there was one time, u want it so much, you are dying for it, but you just dont have it, you'll give up everything, you will sacrifice as much thing as you can just to get the thing =).. you should remember all these, so that it wont get damage or it wont lost.. why? its awfully painful to experience that, trust me.. you will never want to lose any of the thing mentioned above..
~~
so what will cause you lose any of the thing mentioned above? accident? tsunami? earthquake? flashfire? =) all these can happen anytime, u cant control it.. if you can, please contact any of the geometeorological institution, so that you cant help them preventing all these from happening, or you could earn lotsa money if you go n talk to any of the political leader =P (u noe wad i mean rite?) ok apart from that what can cause u to lose those things? selfish ambition? carelessness? lack of understanding and accomodation? like u think u can complete the whole final fantasy game on your psp non stop (im quite sure the thing wont last so long after u do that).. or you are just careless like you put your psp on the edge of the table, just right next to the swimming pool =p.. or when the memory stick gate is broken or the button is coming out, u didnt go n repair it but keep continue playing.. its ok if theres a warranty card or whatever that will get them to replace ur psp.. (like what apple does for i pod =D) but what if it doesnt come with that warranty card, u r the only one who can mend it.. for me, i'd rather prevent it from happening, i'll really take a good care of it =) otherwise i'll try my best repair the thing up as much as possible, coz i believe that its always better to try than not at all..
~~
people suppose to learn rite? lets say u have lost those most precious things once.. for me if i've lost any of those and given a second chance to have it, i'll treasure it more than anything else.. really.. and i'll take care of it to the point that i'll bend over backward, or kneel down so low, or even throw away all my pride.. coz i know one thing i'll never want to have to tell anyone "there used to be something that always accompany me everywhere (psp!! =p)" or "there use to be someone who love me so much (-.-" dunno wads this but sounds really -> -.-")".. coz when everything has happened, it has happened for whatever reason it is, it still happened, we cant change the past.. we can only change the future.. ok i know im super impulsive kinda people and i neither live in the past nor future.. i live now, so i enjoy what i have now... but im the type that get nostalgic very easily, i cherish all the past memories and experience.. the good one... the bad one is long forgotten alr =p.. and about the future, im the type that plan things ahead, coz i like to know that everything is under control, i love to know what's going to happen, i love spoiler =).. so those who like to tease people by saying "at the end of the movie that guy will *toot* this guy and then *toot* the other guy and *toot* *toot* *toot* *toot*..." its all useless, coz i like it hahaz.. more spoiler anyone? but then past and future arent really my focus.. i focus more on whats happening around me now.. im not the type that like to wait.. im not the type that like to see plant grows..
~~
lol, anyway, now come to the rethorical questions that usually come up at the end of any kind of write ups.. do you TREASURE what you have? do you ever think about how to TREASURE things the way it should be TREASURED? do you sacrifice everything just to get something only to realise that in the end you've got nothing and lost everything? =) think about it.. any reply is welcomed =P..

MeLoDieS oF LiFe...

2006-10-27T09:45:00.000+08:00

Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark

For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart

To weave by picking up the pieces that remain

Melodies of Life - Love's lost refrain

~~~

Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why

We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye

And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?

Let them ring out loud till they unfold

In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me

Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name

~~~

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine

Adding up the layers of harmony

And so it goes, on and on Melodies of life

To the sky beyond the flying birds - forever and beyond

~~~

So far and away, see the bird as it flies by

Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky

I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings

Leave them now and see what tommorow brings

In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?

Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?

2006-10-26T17:43:00.000+08:00

erm dunno what to write.. nevermind.. mi mind is kinda empty now..

CHuRCH... aDaM WaS a ZooLoGiST??

2006-10-23T20:45:00.000+08:00

i went to city harvest church last saturday.. the preacher was good and engaging.. his talk was very interesting at first.. but then.. he dragged to long.. he repeated the same thing over and over again.. getting people to cheer too many times.. i think he should join JJ SC.. and learn how to ra-ra the crowd properly.. even though peeps seems to be enjoying it.. there must be few peeps like me that feels its damn weird and got really boring at the end.. their song is nice.. but the local earthquake caused by the people around made me (-.-)"" i got ice cream!

from the church i "learnt" that Adam was a gardener at first.. then after awhile he changed job and become a zoologist.. the precher also mention about things that i've been saying all these while.. ok to make it compact its -> When u face Failure and Defeat, God is telling you that you are going the wrong direction and there has to be a CHANGE.. Its ur RESPONSIBILITY to CHANGE and to find the "MIND of GOD" so that we can find our purpose in life.. what if some people just do not want to admit that they have failed? what if some people have big enough ego to think about themselves and like to think that they are never wrong.. what if they just refuse to change? apparently i just realised that those few april baby always think they are never wrong, have big enough ego to get what they want without caring about other peeps..

CoNFeSSioN..

2006-10-20T08:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.. i do something that i've never done before in my life with jenny.. we do it in a dark room with minimum light that we can barely see each other.. its very hot even though the room suppose to have the aircon on.. during that 2 hour of tense moment, our bodies are not further than 20 cm apart... i know we both like it and hope we can have it again next time... on the way back we try to recall what happened during that 2 hour.. what i would say is that she's satisfied with it.. and she said she should go for the second one.. i guess me too.. i just cant wait till the next one.. im craving for it.. i just want more of it.. oh my.. what have i become..

yay darn cool!! we watch death note!! and there should be 2nd part of it! cant wait till the next one showing.. must watch!! must watch!!

lol!! imagination gone wild?? i'dd suggest u press ctrl+A.. =D things might not be what it seems to be =D...

pOInts Of AUthOrIty...

2006-10-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

FoRFeiT THe GaMe BeFoRe SoMeBoDY eLSe TaKe You ouT oF THe FRaMe aND PuT YouR NaMe To SHaMe!!!

To Be oR NoT To Be..

2006-10-13T06:27:00.000+08:00

First of all.. one of my closest friend erm very very close erm... eat dinner together with me most of the time.. staring at Li Nan all the way yesterday when we're having dinner!! even after he left!! omg!! hmm now i see how powerful is matz genius charm work.. i shall start mugging and doing all the matz qn so that i can have that kind of charming aura hahaha!!! *rolling on the floor laughing out loud -> now rolling to the left.. now rolling to the right... and still laughing when i start to imagine that picture in my mind... roll roll roll....*

hmm other than that i just read a blog =) yes i specially wake up at 5 just to read this special blog.. someone that help me set some standard in my expectation of some particular thing.. i heard that this person is someone that have a characteristic that i despise the most.. which is blinded by faith.. its like duh........................................ i got turn off by it.. but come to the think of it, i was in the similar position as this person but again just like what i usually do, i take different approach (somehow i just realise that i took different approach quite often, the non conventional approach that i thought is normal, but apparently everyone isnt doing it my way... so im the weird one then.. i thought these few peeps are the weird one.. since everything in this world is relative.. this will make me relatively the weird one.. -.-") this person hold on to her faith.. (i know i wrote her.. but does that mean its a she? or actually i just wanna give a twist so that you dunno that its actually a he? or maybe i just put a shemale? ok whatever i'll use she coz it sounds nicer hahaz..) its like no matter what, after all the bad things that happened to her, she still hold on to it.. oh my god.. i just realise how not-dynamic peeps around me are.. they have one belief that they hold on to and they keep holding on to it no matter what.. and again, i, being the odd one i keep changing it whenever its necessary.. isnt that how things suppose to be? even law has its holes and flaws which is the reason why judge and lawyer and proscutor are needed coz they want things to work properly.. that's why we have research and development department so that we can always update our equipment as time change.. isnt this why those high level security guard and those secret agents are conditioned to lots and lots situation so that they can judge and act based on the situation not based on the textbook.. im not saying that we should not being strict, but i was saying that we should act not just blindly using your belief but also use you brain and heart and your body hmm..

okay back to the topic, im kinda sad reading her blog.. i mean yes shez just like me, what you see outside isnt what i trully am.. the real me is the demon inside me that capable of doing all the bad things you could ever think of.. that coercing, distressing, duressing, dementing, and highly destructive.. i hide it all inside, good if you havent seen it yet, for those who saw or feel.. i'd just say 'too bad!! who ask you to be that way?' but dont worry, that demon is forgiving too! that demon always challenge people to be big hearted, judging which one is worthy enough to continue their 'business' with me.. now i realise further that im not the only person in this world that experience this thing hahaz but i would say im one of those who are able to break away from that cycle of poverty created by blind faith =).. not saying that i break away and live happily ever after now, but at least i dun feel stressed and restrained by something like some peeps did.. and they keep sobbing cause the thing that they value the most keep betraying and doesnt seem to respond.. some being that should help and bring them up from those hell, just PLAN to let them stay in that hell forever? some peeps just say, something good will come.. but when? when u keep waiting till u die? too bad that we dont have any witness of what happen after our life end.. so we would never know about it, whether those who have suffer on earth will suffer in the afterlife too? or put it this way, what if that being PLAN to condition you with all the bad things so that in the afterlife you wont complain anymore if the same thing happen to you again? belief.. and faith.. is actually a good thing.. only when you know what you belief in, why you belief in it, and why you should belief in it.. okay some peeps say happy are those who do not see yet believe like inthe bible of John 20:28-29.. (okay for those who think i dunno all these and think that i too blinded by my belief.. i maybe but at least i keep my mind opened.. you know why? coz i used to be one of you..) which tell you that you have to belief fully even when you do not see and even when there's no prove.. hmm.. i dont like this..

imagine when and where was the bible invented.. what was the purpose of religion few centuries back.. believing without knowing why and without asking and doubting.. hey that sounds really good when it comes to governing peeps isnt it? i know in our era its not that this kind of thing have cease to exist from our beloved earth, but, now you have the right to say something and do something about it!! do you live in the 12th or 14th centuries when they translate it from some hebrew scripture to the english one? hmm.. no right? what good does it bring you to believe without being critical and just recieve and take whatever is given.. so far i can only find that this is only good for peeps around you, you become gullible when it comes to that subject!! lol don't mark me as some guy that don't believe in God and try to spread my influence ok? hahaz.. im in fact believe in God, but im trying to be critical, and i think everyone should too coz bible isnt used to rule or govern us, its a guidebook for us to know what's happening on earth by using analogy and figurative language.. learning new things is ok, getting the wisdom of the priest, pope, cleric, monk, your group leader, or even your boss is good, but just be critical.. coz when i hear about something and im suppose to tell you, what you hear will be what i want you to hear, isnt that right? (dont tell me you dont do that, everyone does that) even our leaders do that.. so in the end it is your choice to decide wads right and wads wrong!!

MoNo BLaCK aGGRo...

2006-10-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

erm just click for bigger view =D.. just thought of it while studying physics hahaz.. now im continuing mi physics...

Me...

2006-10-02T18:08:00.000+08:00

about me... i love something vibrant, full of colour, something happy, fun... i love to see changes.. i love to see progress, improvement, something unusual (both +ve and -ve)... i love to be loved, get attention, love to be treated as a very very important person a.k.a. VVIP =P (lol who don't?)... i love healthy relationship!! (not necessarily one arm length apart like what some particular person said..) i love myself of course (almost forgot to mention).. i love dark chocolate, the higher the percentage the better it is.. (hehez.. hint hint...=D) i love bleach and school rumble!.. (its a must watch and must read manga&anime) i love competition.. more like the healthy one.. but if needed i dun mind cheating.. but i'll mind if others cheat!! (unfair.. but that's our world what.. who like to be cheated anyway... but don't worry i seldom started all this bad things anyway.. i only retaliate..) i love revenge... revenge is sweet... (hmmm its a way for me to relieve stress.. i know its evil and the whole world will be blind if it continues.. but nevermind.. like what i say i only retaliate hehez.. what i will say is that "why u start it first?" *evil grin*).. i love serra avenger... i love scott m. fischer's arts.. (not the guy but his arts.. darn coooolll...) i love magic the gathering... i love logical stuff (so never argue with me based on something that you can't proof.. challenge ur own belief and view like i do!! then u can start arguing with me, yay!!) i love u (erm maybe its not you.. maybe its the person next to you that reading this blog... erm ya maybe its you.. arghh.. dunno lah..)

about me... i hate something stagnant.. i hate to see peeps not putting in effort.. i hate peeps who say sorry excessively (i've covered about apology in my previous post havnt i?) i hate beansprout or tawgay or whatever u call it.. i hate unappreciative peeps.. i hate peeps who forced their view on others without justification about why they are doing it and why should i follow what they say.. (i know whats good for me.. so just tell me if i need to change but dont force me to change.. dat wont work.. and if u ever overdid it.. i have one sentence.. "UCMI - U cant make it..") i hate being ignored.. i hate being left out.. i hate flase hope.. (and recently there are lotsa of it floating around me.. ) i hate unhealthy relationship.. (non-mutual non-profitable reciprocal and so on and so on..) i hate u!!! (maybe you yes it maybe you.. but may not be you.. don't tax ur mind so much la.. hehez)

aPoLoGY..

2006-09-28T15:40:00.000+08:00

Just talking about 'apology' with my friend yesterday.. i want to write it out long time ago but i just keep forgetting.. booo... i quoted once about forgiveness which is 'Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because its immense benefits to the one who forgives...' so its not about the same thing ok??

about apologising.. i actually dont really like the idea of apologising.. coz many peeps in the world say sorry almost everyday but keep doing the same 'bad' thing the next day.. whats the point of apologising then?? might as well you mount up everything until u r ready to change then you apologise and dont do it again.. many peeps felt that by apologising they have sort of cleanse their sin or purge it or whatever and they feel good after that apology.. and in my opinion this is more selfish than not asking sorry at all.. why? coz by apologising u have given them hope-> saying sorry means u regret what you do and you sort of promise not to do that again.. so if you think u apologise so many times.. means you've given peeps false hope dont you? and i hate false hope hahaz.. (i dunno how many more peeps hate it too but i guess its quite alot..) why not try to prevent the ugly things from happening rather than saying sorry? i noe it isnt that easy.. but its not that hard too..

YoZ!!!

2006-09-27T20:14:00.000+08:00

trying to make new blogskin but attempt failed... maybe have to dig more skills from the pro... i just realise that i own lotsa power house magic cards during the prerelease last week end and i got the serra avenger t-shirt too during the pre-release.. kinda high level for most of peeps visiting mi blog but anyway its a magic tourney =) and i got lotsa good cards =).. other than that not much thing happening.. gotta mug for the coming SAT I test.. mug mug mug... and still experimenting with both photoshop and sketching skills =) gotta show u all when i do one nice one =)

BeHiND THe SCeNe: STuFFY DoLL..

2006-09-24T15:27:00.000+08:00

okie call it voodoo doll or whatever you want... actually the idea that i want to portray is that something that you approached when you are feeling unhappy... u give it a blow, u stab it, u pinch it, u just plunge lots and lots of needle into it and release ur anger or sadness... and surely its not your friend when you are feeling happy =)... have you ever feel that stuffed animals or sof toys that you have want you to play with them?? i mean come on sometimes you see them and you just want to hug them and play around with them right?? and i guess even when this stuffy voodoo doll give you that impression you will stay away and make yourself busy with something else =)... and you wouldn't care if its torn apart... (u see the cotton is coming out in several area =P)

STuFFY DoLL

2006-09-24T15:05:00.000+08:00

Loneliness is the only one who never fail to accompany me when i fell down the deepest...